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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28002288">A Most Difficult Time of Year</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darksidechick/pseuds/Darksidechick'>Darksidechick</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Queen Anna AU [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Frozen (Disney Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/M, Grieving, Mentions of Major Character Death, Mutual Pining, Reconciliation, hurt comfort, post sequel au, references film's deleted scenes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 19:34:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>21,350</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28002288</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darksidechick/pseuds/Darksidechick</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Sometimes two people have to fall apart to realize how much they need to fall back together." -Colleen Hoover</p><p>The mist has been lifted. Arendelle has been saved, but everything couldn't have gone more wrong. Weeks of dealing with the aftermath of the Enchanted Forest have taken their toll on Arendelle's new queen. In order to escape what would become a very difficult holiday season, Anna travels to the Southern Isles on Queen Charlotte's invitation. But the visit takes more of an emotional toll when she's unexpectedly reunited with Prince Hans, and she finds herself more conflicted than ever before.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anna/Hans (Disney)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Queen Anna AU [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2124786</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Three Years and a Horse Bump Later</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is the official fic compilation of my related prompts for 2020's "Hansanna For the Holidays" event on Tumblr. It is a post-sequel AU that blends ideas from deleted scenes along with some of my own ideas on how the film could have ended.</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>An unexpected encounter gives Queen Anna a serious sense of deja vu.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Anna of Arendelle always enjoyed Christmastime.  There was a sense of charm to the holiday and the season in general, and not just because of her magical sister. Even in the years growing up apart from Elsa, King Agnarr and Queen Iduna always found a way to bring so much joy and excitement to Christmas. For her own part, she made sure Elsa had something to look forward to. Olaf was their pride and joy, and he was the subject of sisterly gift-giving for thirteen years.</p><p>Naturally, after the gates reopened, she and Elsa had even more to look forward to. Their first Christmas together brought forth some tough challenges, but also some wonderful new traditions. The simple return of the Yule Bell for the kingdom of Arendelle turned into a kingdom-wide venture to the forest where everyone got to take part in ice skating, caroling, hot chocolate, dancing and even decorating a massive magical Christmas tree. It was a fun, fantastic new way of bonding with not only Elsa, but with Kristoff, Olaf and Sven as their relationships grew over the years. They all became her new family, and she found herself in a special kind of high that she never thought she could possibly lose.</p><p>Until this year.</p><p>The autumn months brought forth so many challenges for Anna. A venturing into a northern enchanted forest destroyed everything that she considered wonderful and safe. Kristoff, her best friend and long-time suitor forcibly broke down and admitted a terrible truth to her—that aside from his feelings towards her, everything about his life—no, their life at the castle made him absolutely miserable, and that all he desired more than anything, more than her, was to escape back to the mountains with his reindeer. If that emotional blow wasn’t hard enough, she had also lost Elsa—gone off on her own personal mission only to ultimately sacrifice herself to save all of Arendelle. With Elsa gone, Olaf had flurried away with no magic left to maintain him any longer. Of the five of them to enter the forest, only three went home, but in reality, she returned alone.</p><p>Thrust into a new position without warning did nothing to help the situation. Kingdom stress did nothing to ease her grief or the pressure brought on by taking on the crown.</p><p><em>‘Long live the Queen’, they say…. </em>Anna had sighed to herself on so many occasions.<em> I used to be the queen of tripping over her own feet. Of breaking things. Of rambling on. Of awkwardness  and impatience. Of tardiness. Of impulsive behavior. Now I’m the Queen of all of Arendelle. Of the people. Of courtiers with little confidence. No spares. No friends. No consort. No support. </em></p><p>
  <em>Just me. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>God save the Queen. Heaven knows she’s gonna need it. </em>
</p><p>Once December hit, the Arendelle castle never felt colder. Emptier. Lonelier. She may have gained a confidant in Lieutenant-now-General Mattias, her father’s former bodyguard and a man who she freed from the confines of the Enchanted Forest, but even his ear and wisdom didn’t fill the gaping holes left in her heart.</p><p>That’s why this year, Anna decided that she couldn’t stay in Arendelle for the holiday. It would be far too painful. In the many letters of condolences sent from all over the realm, one stood out further than the others. Representing the Southern Isles and their royal family, Queen Charlotte had been one of the first to send correspondence and offered for Anna to travel to the islands for Christmas. The two women had been friends since the Arendelle gates opened years prior and Anna didn’t hesitate to jump at the opportunity to see a new land, get her mind off of her troubles, and maybe even learn some new cultural traditions to boot.</p><p>The Yule Bell rang at noon, and by sundown the following night, Anna was on a ship headed for the southern waters.</p><p>It didn’t even dawn on her until hours before docking what staying in the Southern Isles would really mean. The Westergaard family was a large, intimidating clan—with the exception of their queen… and maybe even a princess or two, depending on how many of the princes had married. If any.</p><p>Several days of her visit had come and gone, and she concluded that the Southern Isles was not quite what she expected it to be. It was a lot colder than she anticipated, and not just in temperature. Several of the royal princes were rather unkind. Being a queen, they of course treated her with respect, or at least, enough to scrape the bottom barrel of regal deference. But to each other? There was so much antagonistic behavior that she couldn’t fathom how the family unit functioned at all. King Frederick, the eldest brother, managed to rein them all under control when he was around, but she could tell that Queen Charlotte was quite worn down with dealing with some of their behavior. There were some good ones, though. Viktor and Georg, the older set of twins, seemed to enjoy harmless pranks, but even they knew when enough was enough, and when to act mature. They even managed to get quite a few hearty laughs out of her. Astor and Alexei, the Royal Ambassador and Naval Admiral respectively,  were the most composed and mature out of the whole clan. But the youngest four in attendance: Tomas, Lars, Dirk and Derrick… they alone could give ruin to the entire family if given the chance.</p><p>Not that they really needed to. Someone already claimed that prize three years prior. The youngest Westergaard, and the one clearly not anywhere to be found.</p><p>Hans.</p><p>She was assured by Frederick that she would not be seeing Hans at all during her stay. There were no explanations of where he was or what he was doing. In a way, she felt better off not knowing. She really didn’t care to see him anyway. With the current state of affairs, her life couldn’t really get any lower. The last thing she needed was a reminder of more loss.</p><p>It was bad enough that just being around the Westergaard family showed her that while this unit was clearly dysfunctional, deep down they still had each other for support. It only further reminded her that she was alone. For the most part, she had a handle on her emotions and didn’t let the feelings overwhelm her. On this particular morning, only a week before Christmas, the loss really hit her hard. With the knowledge that she would be spending the evening attending a concert in the city with the entire Westergaard family, she decided to spend the first half of her day alone to air some of her grievances privately and get it out of her system.</p><p>It had snowed the night before, and she was surprised to see how much had accumulated on the ground when she glanced out her window. The sight of it brought forth a sense of warmth, a sense of home. For a brief moment, she was back in Arendelle among the wooded grounds beyond the main city where everyone gathered for the first evening Christmas celebration. She felt compelled to walk through the freshly packed snow, and properly dressed for the outdoors.</p><p>“Are you sure you’ll be alright, Your Majesty?” General Mattias had asked as he escorted her towards the castle’s southern entrance. “I can keep you company if you wish.”</p><p>As the snow crunched underneath her new boots, she turned to look over her shoulder. Mattias was still standing at the top of the steps with his hands clasped behind his back. His offer was politely declined. <em>This was only going to be a private walk,</em> she told herself. Something that simple, she could easily handle on her own.</p><p>She hoped.</p><p>Another glance behind her later showed Mattias had ventured back inside the warm castle. Now left to her thoughts, she ventured further off the path and tucked her hands up under her cloak. It didn’t take long for all of the pain she was suppressing to start bubbling to the surface. How she would manage to maintain any sense of composure later was beyond her. Still, she wiped some stray tears with her sleeve and kept walking. </p><p>
  <em>“—‘tron, come back here. Where are you going?!”</em>
</p><p>She barely heard a voice shouting in the distance as she trudged her way through the snow. It wasn’t until she saw something advancing fast in her peripherals that she stopped walking. It was too late, though. Before she could even react, a large mass crashed right into her. Anna stumbled her way through the snow before ultimately falling flat on her back.</p><p>“H-hey!!” She cried out at her chilly impact on the ground. When she tried to sit up, she was met with a lemon horse nuzzling its face right into hers. There was something strangely familiar about this horse, but she couldn’t put her finger on it.</p><p>“What on earth has gotten into you, Sitron??” The voice from before was much louder now as the sound of snow crunching under quickened footsteps approached. “I’m so so sorry, Miss.” The man apologized profusely as he dragged the animal off of her. “Are you hurt?? I certainly hope not. I swear he’s never done this to anyone before—”</p><p>He kept rambling one apology after another in rapid succession, but she had stopped listening. She knew that voice. It was one that used to haunt her dreams for well over a year.</p><p>
  <em>Hans??</em>
</p><p>Once the horse no longer obstructed her view, she tried her hardest to suppress her gasp. It was as if she was taken back three years to that fateful morning at the docks. He looked exactly as she remembered: auburn hair, the sloped nose, the freckled cheeks, the sideburns…. Still absolutely <em>gorgeous</em>. He donned a much warmer, chocolate brown greatcoat today versus the lighter grey one he wore in Arendelle, and he had thick black gloves over his hands, but overall, he was exactly the same. He had yet to actually lay eyes on her, so she took the opportunity to really observe him. From what she could tell from his profile, the three years hadn’t really taken a toll on him.</p><p>She got a better view of his horse as well, and instantly she got a sense of Deja vu. Getting knocked off her feet was how she and Hans first met, and Sitron was now the culprit both times. She was starting to doubt whether the first instance was really an accident or the horse’s doing.</p><p>“I suppose I wasn’t looking where I was going…” she said. “But I’m fine.” The words were out of her mouth before she even registered saying them. What was she thinking?? Those were the same things she blabbered to him the first time. It wasn’t her intention to make this awful moment even more awkward, but as usual she was succeeding. </p><p>“Oh, thank goodness.” There was immense relief in his voice. “Again, I’m terribly so—” His voice immediately cut off when his eyes finally left his steed and landed on hers. They widened like saucers as they fixated on her face for far longer than either of them would consider comfortable or appropriate. “A-Anna??”</p><p>The way he stared at her made her heart ache. Sure, there was the immediate shock—clearly, he wasn’t expecting to run into her. But there was something else, too. Wonder and awe, just like their first meet. She thought herself such a normal, ordinary girl then, and while she had dreams of meeting a handsome stranger tall and fair, she didn’t quite expect to crash into him so soon into the day. Yet there he was, standing over her in a rickety row boat, completely captivated by her. He even stumbled over his own name. It was cute and absolutely adorable. Those eyes, that memory of Hans, seemed to be staring at her now. </p><p>“H-Hi.” She said shyly and tucked a loosened strand of her copper locks behind her ear. The one corner of his mouth slowly started to curve upwards as his eyes scanned over her face, taking in every detail, every freckle peppering her cheeks. Eventually, they locked back onto her own eyes. It seemed her presence rendered him speechless all over again. Three years gone by, and a similarly chanced meeting still produced the same results. She couldn’t see why. Surely he knew that she had been staying in his home for the last several days. Was her appearance really that shocking?</p><p>Suddenly his head shook quickly, snapping him out of his daze. He reached down to gently take her arms and pull her to her feet. “A-Are you sure you’re alright?” His tone had drastically changed from when he first arrived at her side. He was far more cautious now. This was the Hans she was expecting to see, should she have encountered him. The Hans that was not only handsome and charming, but dangerous and conniving, too. Or at least, was dangerous. Was conniving. It’s been years. Perhaps he learned his lesson. He didn’t seem like the same man who donned the face of a heartless killer or of a cruel emotional manipulator. He looked… broken. And if she didn’t know better, almost fearful for being in her presence. Perhaps he thought Elsa would just pop out from behind a tree and freeze him to death. Maybe that’s why he was conveniently absent throughout her visit. </p><p>
  <em>Well… if it <b>had </b>been Elsa… yeesh. What a nightmare that would be for him. But Elsa’s gone. It’s just me. It was always, and will always be… just me. </em>
</p><p>“I’m ok, really.” Anna tried to reassure him, and once he let go of her arms, she tried to brush the snow from her pleated skirts. “Um, are you?” </p><p>“I think I will be, once the shock wears off.” He offered a polite bow of the head. “P-princess Anna. It’s… it’s good to see you again.” </p><p>Anna bit her lip. “It’s um… it’s <em>Queen</em> Anna, actually. That’s… that’s a thing that happened.” </p><p>“Queen?” It took Hans a moment to fully register what that meant. When the weight of it sunk in, his eyes immediately widened and he dropped to one knee in a deep bow. “Y-Your Majesty!” Sitron, who had moved to stand right behind his master, also dropped to a respectful bow as well. His head had roughly bumped into Hans just as the prince was in the process of standing back up. Hans was forced to stumble forward to catch his footing, but his boot also slipped in the snow. Down he went, and since Anna tried to catch his fall, she ended up getting pushed back down into the snow as well. </p><p>“O-oh!” She gasped once her back hit the cold powder again and she glanced up to Hans. He had landed more-or-less on top of her. His arms braced around both sides of her head, and luckily he was somewhat propped on his knees or else he’d smother her completely. Her face was completely flushed now at their proximity. It was all an accident, of course, but it still sent a different chill coursing through her. Why was everything happening as it did before? </p><p>“Hi–again.” She managed to get out and tried not to cry at the ridiculousness of it all. Oh, if only she could be privy to what was going through his mind right now? </p><p>“Ann–er–<em>Your Majesty</em>–” he stumbled over his formalities as he quickly got off of her and helped her once more to her feet. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for that to happen. And I apologize once again for my horse–” </p><p>“Hans!” She quickly waved her hands out to silence him. “Please. It’s okay. You don’t have to apologize any more. Really. I’m not upset.” </p><p>“But…” he quickly shot Sitron a dirty look before softening his gaze to her again. “…there’s so much I have to atone for.” </p><p>She shook her head slightly. It was only a matter of time before one of them brought up their dirty laundry. She understood the reasoning, of course. Naturally, he would want to apologize for his misdeeds in Arendelle. But that was in the past. Right now, she didn’t want to dwell on it. </p><p>“I’m sorry–” he said again before she could even get a word in, “–not just about us– I mean for you. If you’re Arendelle’s Queen… I suppose Queen Elsa is–” </p><p>“–yes.” Anna replied softly and quickly averted her eyes. </p><p>He sighed with a drooping of his shoulders and extended his hand towards her. It stopped just inches from her hand, as if he wasn’t sure if he should even try an act of consolation. In the end, he braved placing his hand gently on her forearm but kept his gaze on her face to gauge her expressions. “I’m sorry. Really, I am. Despite what happened between us back then… what I almost…” he couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence. “I know how much she meant to you. I think I might be the only person in this castle who truly does. And for that, I offer my sincerest condolences. You deserve to hear it from someone who actually cares.” </p><p>Anna bit her lip and tried to hold back a set of tears that were forcing themselves to the surface. A former version of herself wouldn’t want his pities. His sympathies. She would want nothing to do with him whatsoever, and after their tumble in the snow, she’d probably slap him for good measure and storm back to the castle with a ruined disposition that would last long after Christmas would end. </p><p>But… that version of herself died long ago; it withered at her and Kristoff’s break-up. It officially died along with Elsa. She was forced to pick up the pieces of her broken heart alone, and reevaluate a lot of herself in the process. </p><p>Standing here, hearing his heartfelt consolation really meant something. He was right. While Hans didn’t know Elsa very well in person, he learned a lot about the elder sister through <em>her</em>. Anna talked a great deal the night of the coronation about her and Elsa, their bond as children; and then there was the matter of the frozen summer in the first place… an unfortunate after-effect of a sisterly spat. And it wasn’t as if Hans really needed words alone to understand how important Elsa was. Anna’s own actions to go off on some impulsive quest to bring Elsa home, and even her ultimate decision to jump into the path of death just to save her spoke volumes in itself. All of that took place in a span of days. With an extra three years under their belts, it was natural for him to assume how much their bond as sisters would have grown. </p><p>And how much such a tragic loss would hurt. </p><p>“Thank you.” She replied softly. There was an awkward silence between them again. He was gazing at her once more, though this time he seemed more awestruck than surprised. She wasn’t sure what had captivated him so. She was still the same ol’ Anna. Sure, there was her title change, but it wasn’t as if she stood before him dripping in diamonds and jewels. “Um, why are you staring? Is there something wrong?” </p><p>“N-no.” Hans immediately shook his head. “I’m sorry. It’s just…” he shrugged as he struggled to come up with the right words. “I’ve never seen you with your hair down before. It’s beautiful.” </p><p>Her hands instinctively went up to run through her long locks. “Y…you think so?” He nodded, and she fought her hardest not to let heat rise to her cheeks. She had to keep a level head. “Well…I should warn you that flattering me won’t get you anywhere–” </p><p>“It wasn’t flattery, Ann–<em>Your Majesty</em>–” he corrected himself, “It was merely the truth. You were beautiful to me then, and even more so now.” His eyes softened as he tried to smile. “The last few years have been kind to you in that regard.” </p><p>She eyed him carefully. “You don’t seem to have changed much.” </p><p>“I have.” He replied. “It’s just something I doubt you would believe if I told you.” Hans cleared his throat and reached behind him to grab hold of Sitron’s reins. “Well. I suppose I’ll take my leave. I’m sure you’d rather spend your time in anyone’s company but mine.” He bowed once more from the neck. “Take care, Your Majesty. I’m… glad I got to see you again.” </p><p>She watched him start to tug his horse down the path back towards the castle, and before she could stop herself, she blurted out a ‘<em>wait</em>!’ He immediately stopped and turned around towards her with a puzzled look on his face as she crunched through the snow to reach him. “Where are you going?” </p><p>“My chambers… once I get Sitron back to his stall.” </p><p>She frowned. “Is that where you’ve been hiding all this time? Why haven’t I gotten a glimpse of you until now?” </p><p>He nodded. “Frederick told me to stay out of the Queen of Arendelle’s way. I had assumed you were your sister, not that it really mattered in the end. I planned on staying in my rooms anyway.” His cheeks turned the faintest shade of pink, and she wasn’t sure if it was from the cold or embarrassment. “You see… you weren’t the only person I’ve been avoiding.” </p><p>“Oh?” </p><p>“…if it’s all the same to you, I’d rather not get into it. At least not right now.” </p><p>Anna shook head slightly. “O-Okay, then.” She subtly bit her lip as her mind raced to come up with something to say. For whatever reason, she couldn’t bring herself to watch him leave. “I don’t suppose you’d be coming to the concert tonight then?” </p><p>“No. I’m not going.” </p><p>“Why not?” She asked and stepped over to Sitron to rub under his chin. The horse seemed to enjoy it and leaned to rub his face into her hands. </p><p>Hans’ head tilted curiously to the side. “There’s the delicate matter of staying out of your way. But even if you weren’t here… the family’s going. That’s reason enough to stay in.” </p><p>Her eyes widened a bit in surprise. “So… what? You don’t go out anywhere then?” </p><p>He shook his head. “Not if they’re there.”</p><p>There was more that he clearly wasn’t telling her, but she didn’t want to pry. Yet. “Doesn’t that get rather lonely? Hiding away in your rooms all day and night?” </p><p>“Believe me, I’d rather spend my days alone after what I went through coming home.” </p><p>Anna swallowed. She wasn’t privy to his punishments, but she had her own personal experiences to go from. Up until this point, she could say with certainty that the three years between losing her parents and Elsa’s coronation were the absolute <em>worst </em>in her life. She had no one, and it felt as if she were a ghost in her own home. Castle courtiers were busy preparing Elsa for her role as queen, and she was left behind to her own devices. </p><p>Her mind flashed back to their night during the Coronation ball, when they bonded over their shared periods of loneliness; how he said some of his brothers ignored him for a few years. Now that she’s met the clan, she could see where that resentment came from. And she could also picture which brothers were the ones giving Hans a hard time growing up. </p><p>“You’ve met them.” He said suddenly, as if reading her thoughts. “My brothers. Surely you can understand why I want nothing to do with them.” </p><p>“Some of them <em>are </em>jerks…” She admitted. “But are they really worth isolating yourself for the rest of your life?” </p><p>“It’s what I deserve.”</p><p>When he made to leave again, she reached out and grabbed his arm. “Please don’t say that. No one…” she paused, and tried to keep her composure. “No one deserves to be alone. <em>Nobody </em>wants to be alone. Not even <em>you</em>.” </p><p>“You don’t really believe that.” </p><p>“Yes, I do.” She insisted with a trembling voice. “I know more about loneliness than you could ever imagine. My sister is dead. My most promising courtship ended in a disaster. And my best friend in the entire world literally faded away in my own arms.” She felt a few tears slide down her cheeks, and before she could bring her arm up to wipe them away, Hans had patted down his coat and pulled out a handkerchief from one of the pockets. “I would give anything in the world to have what you–”.” </p><p>“–You don’t want my life, Anna–.” </p><p>“–You have a <em>family</em>!” She cried out, snatching the cloth from him to dab her eyes. “For better or worse, you have people to fall back on! Brothers to support you! I know at least one of them would actually listen to you, so don’t go and give me that nonsense. Who do I have left?? A bunch of old men who will remind me to no end how I need to find a husband and marry sooner rather than later for the sake and future of the crown; how much better Elsa was at being a queen; how I’m doing everything wrong! That’s not what I imagined! That’s not what I want.” </p><p>“What do you want then?” </p><p>“Happiness! I want my life back!” Anna exclaimed and threw the handkerchief into the snow in grief. “I want to be loved! I want someone to love!” She trembled and hugged her arms close to her chest. “I’m so sick and tired of being alone. I can’t live like this anymore.” </p><p>She remembered the last time she uttered those pleading words. It was to Elsa at the thought of her life returning to the mundane day-to-day; a sister on the other side of a locked door; an empty castle; a sense of entrapment with locked gates. On that day more than ever, she sought out people. Friendship. Companionship. Even love. </p><p>A chill went down her spine as she realized she was right back to where she started. If she erased the last three years of her life, there wouldn’t have been much that changed. Yes, she would be the queen now versus Elsa, and there was no sister hiding in the castle, but what difference did it make between a physically and emotionally absent sister and not having one at all? No family, no friends. Just a young naïve girl not at all prepared for what life would throw her way. </p><p>Before she could even register what was happening, she found herself being pulled to him. His arms wrapped around her tightly as she pressed her face into his chest. Her hands slid up to clutch the outer lapels of his coat as she quietly sobbed into him. This was definitely not part of her plan. Sher came out here to air her grievances to the snow and the trees. To get a grip on her emotions and not appear weak in front of any of the Westergaards. Instead, she not only crashed into the one prince that shared an uncomfortable history with her, but she ended up breaking down and leaving herself completely vulnerable to him all over again, so soon after reuniting. He probably pegged her for being hysterical now. </p><p>“Oh Anna…” he whispered softly as his hands rubbed up and down her back. “Please don’t do this. Don’t cry…” </p><p>“Why not?” Her muffled voice broke through her sobs. She could feel the weight of his head resting on hers. </p><p>“You’re supposed to be the strong one.” Hans said softly. “Brave. Determined. Fearless. I can’t bear to see you so broken like this. Like… like me.” </p><p>“…who broke <em>you</em>?” </p><p>“You did.” </p><p>Confused, Anna blinked and pulled back slightly to glance up at his face. She expected him to name off at least one of his brothers. But <em>her</em>? She didn’t break people. She <em>loved </em>people. There was a big difference. “I don’t understand…” she said as she quickly wiped her wet cheeks dry with her sleeve. </p><p>“You punched me in the face.” He clarified with the faintest hint of a smile on his lips. “It was a while before my nose felt like normal again.” At her brief attempt at a chuckle, he removed his arms from her and bent down to retrieve the cloth from the snow. He wrung it about in his hands as he chose his next words carefully. “You know… I was always so sure about what I wanted in life. And then I crashed into you and everything changed.” He sighed, “You were the best thing to ever happen to me, and my selfishness just got in the way. I’ve been regretting <em>every </em>terrible decision I made back then for the last three years. I learned what love was through <em>you</em>, and because I carelessly tossed you aside, it’s something I’ll never experience ever again. That’s… that’s why I lock myself away in my room. Yes, I’m avoiding my brothers, but I’m also owning up to what I’ve done. I don’t want to risk the chance of meeting someone new. It would be a terrible dishonor to you. And… I don’t think any other girl in this entire realm could ever replace what you were to me.” </p><p>She was rendered speechless. “I… Hans…” </p><p>“Look, you don’t have to say anything. To be honest, I don’t expect you to understand.” He said dejectedly, “I always hoped that our reunion would be on much better terms. It really does break what’s left of my heart knowing how much you’re hurting like this.”</p><p>She turned away and opted to give some more affection to Sitron. “I thought coming here would help. You know… being around people. I’m friends with Queen Charlotte. But even she’s been so busy with the holidays and the kingdom, and most of your brothers are off doing their own things. This almost feels like I’m back home. Quiet castle, me just roaming the empty halls. I didn’t expect the loneliness to follow me wherever I went.” She wiped her eyes again. “It’s unnerving.” </p><p>“I can’t speak for what will happen when you return home, but while you’re here, you’re not alone. Should all else fail, you’ll always have me.” He reached out to gently take her hand in his. “I’ll never shut you out.” </p><p>“…do you really mean that?” Anna asked, glancing briefly at their joined hands. “That’s what you said the last time, too. Things… things aren’t what they used to be.” </p><p>“I know.” Hans replied. “As much as I’d dream of you loving me again, I know it’s impossible, and I won’t force anything on you. I’ll gladly settle for being your friend.” </p><p>She forced a smile at the thought. He seemed sincere enough, and she couldn’t help but feel a new wave of nostalgia at the offer. There was a sense of coming full circle. For the second time now, Hans seemed to be a sort of savior. Before, he appeared out of nowhere when her heart was full of hope and let her believe any, even <em>all </em>of her dreams could come true. He was her beacon of light in a very dark world and she clung to him for all it was worth. Now that she found herself in a new dark chapter, he offered a glimmering escape and a strange chance of rekindling some of what was lost so long ago. What were the odds that the very man she hoped to avoid would become her greatest reprieve?</p><p>And maybe… just maybe… spending time with Hans would help him heal, too. </p><p>“I’d like that.” She said softly as she looked into his eyes. They lit up at her response, and for a brief moment, it looked like a tremendous weight was suddenly lifted from his shoulders. Even Sitron looked pleased at their exchange and whinnied as he gently shook his mane. “I suppose I should let you go now. It’s getting late, and I’ll have to prepare for the concert soon.” </p><p>Hans nodded. “And I should get this troublemaker back to the stables before he tries to run over any other beautiful women.” </p><p>Anna stepped aside so he could pass. “Do… do you think it was fate that made us meet like this?”</p><p>“If fate’s other name is ‘Sitron’, then yes.” He said in a teasing tone. “I think he likes you. It’s two strikes now that he’s knocked me on top of you. It’s becoming a bit of a problem. Horses aren’t supposed to play matchmaker with their masters.” </p><p>She felt her cheeks redden. “What happens at strike three?” </p><p>“Then I’ll have to marry you.” </p><p>Her blush immediately deepened as her eyes widened. “Wait, what?” </p><p>“I’m kidding.” He chuckled, though there was something in his eyes, his facial expression, that made her doubt if he really was joking or not. Especially considering his next move was to take her hand and lay a tender kiss to the back of hers. “Good bye, Your Majesty.” </p><p>“A-Anna.” She said softly as his eyes locked onto hers. “Please. It’s just me.” </p><p>“Just you…” he echoed with the slightly shaking of his head. “Until we meet again.” He released her and tugged Sitron back onto the path in the other direction.. </p><p>She watched them with a fond smile forming across her face. “We will, won’t we?” She called after him with hope creeping into her voice. “See each other, I mean? You won’t hide away forever? No locked doors?” </p><p>He half turned to smile at her over his shoulder, “Oh I’ll be tucked away, but should you need me, you’ll find me. You’ll always find me. For you, <em>my lady</em>, the door will always be open.” </p><p>As Anna crunched through the snow back to the castle, she couldn’t help but feel a strange warmth in her– something that she hadn’t felt in a long time. She didn’t know what to call it, but she knew that this couldn’t be the only time she would feel it during her stay. If Hans was the cause, then she would <em>have </em>to seek him out. </p><p>She would look forward to it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Winter Solstice</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The first one to endure alone is always the hardest. Anna learns that the hard way on the night of the Winter Solstice, and she is forced to seek out companionship with the one prince who could not only understand her pain, but also take it away.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The ticking of the clock was the only thing to break the silence in her bedroom. It was late. Most of the castle had gone to bed. Westergaards that were still up were no doubt drinking themselves under a table. </p>
<p><em>I could have joined them if it weren’t for the fact that’d I’d be well under a table in five minutes flat….</em> </p>
<p>Anna sat up in bed and pulled her knees to her chest. Today was another difficult day. Her plans to steal Sitron for an afternoon ride of reflection were thwarted by high winds and threats of snow. Instead, she was forced to hunker down inside the castle. With everyone essentially cooped up inside, it was hard trying to avoid the princes in most of the common rooms. Just walking past the south parlor, she overheard an unfortunate portion of conversation that nearly made her lose her temper. It took every bit of resolve that she had left to turn around and walk away. Finally, she found some solace in the castle library with a few good books. Unfortunately, immersing herself in a mystery here, a romance novel there, even finding one of her favorite childhood tales, ‘<em>The Twelve Dancing Princesses’</em> only did so much to alleviate <em>some</em> of her grief. The moment she stepped back into the corridor, her troubles were waiting for her like a shadow on the wall. </p>
<p><em>The first is always the worst, they said.</em> Anna sighed. <em>It will get better over time, they said.</em> </p>
<p>
  <em>I’ve lost so much time already– practically my entire life! How is <b>that</b> supposed to make me feel better?! </em>
</p>
<p>She glanced towards her bedroom door. Getting out of her empty room might help, but it was late. There were only so many places she could go that wouldn’t raise eyebrows. Would there really be a point in it, though? If anyone– or everyone– with sense turned in for the night, then she would merely be alone in a different location. There would be no escaping grief that way. </p>
<p>Well, there was <em>one</em> place she could go, but it was high on the list of impropriety.  </p>
<p><em>He did say his door was always open….</em> </p>
<p>Feeling an onset of determination and desperation, she slid out of bed and reached for her dressing gown. With it tied securely and her feet warmed with a pair of slippers, she was on her way out the door when she caught a dim sight of herself in the mirror. Her long hair was a bit on the wild side. Anna stopped in her tracks and raised her hands to her locks, about to tame them into braids, but then remembered a comment Hans made a few days prior about her styling changes. </p>
<p><em>He liked it this way…</em> She mused. Not that she was in the proper mindset to really beautify herself, but she found the simple compliment very touching. It actually made her feel good about herself. It made her smile. </p>
<p>Her fingers combed through her locks quickly just to smoothen them down, and out the door she went. </p>
<p>It wasn’t until she rounded a third corner and up a flight of stairs that she really had no idea where she was going. This was the first time she decided to take Hans up on his offer, and he never explicitly stated <em>where</em> his room was. The Westergaard castle was vast, more than twice the size of her own home. He could be virtually anywhere. It wasn’t as if she could ask someone, even in broad daylight. Hans was instructed to stay away from her, and as an unwed woman, she really had no business inquiring about the location of a bachelor’s private chambers. </p>
<p><em>“Should you need me, you’ll find me. You’ll always find me…”</em> His voice echoed in her mind. </p>
<p>
  <em>He believed I’d be able to find my way. I just have to trust his confidence… and my sense of navigation. Heaven help me not to stumble on Dirk or Derrick’s rooms instead. </em>
</p>
<p>She was instantly regretting not scoping him out during the day. His door could very well have been wide open and she could have seen right in and found him easily. </p>
<p>She frowned as she faced another stairwell. Maybe he wanted it to be a challenge– a game or puzzle of sorts. If this was something that needed solved, perhaps she was unknowingly given clues. </p>
<p>
  <em>King Frederick said I wouldn’t be seeing Hans at all during my stay, so that could mean his room is perhaps isolated away from everything else– </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>–He’s locked in the tallest tower!!</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Wait. Does this castle even <b>have</b> towers?? </em>
</p>
<p>She thought back to her many escorts through the corridors on her first two days. Many of the princes tended to steer her away from the upper floors of the west wing. Those were the only clues she had to go with, so that’s where she decided to start. If it turned out that she couldn’t find Hans, then at least she could get her mind off her misery by exploring uncharted parts of the castle, and in the morning she would demand to be taken to Hans just to ream him out. </p>
<p>Because Queen’s privilege dictated such. So she would tell herself. </p>
<p>Anna covered her mouth to stiffen a yawn as she went up another set of stairs. This time, she was met with a closed set of double doors at the top instead of an open hallway. </p>
<p><em>This is new…</em>. She tested the doorknobs. They turned easily and she immediately crossed the threshold. Sconces on the walls were lit, brighter than some of the other corridors she’s been through earlier. The walls were a lot more decorated, too. Scattered between sconces were beautiful paintings. A bright moon on a starry sky, a castle’s garden wall covered in wisteria, a lighthouse against the water. She stopped to admire a waterfall canvas. Her eyes were mesmerized by the way the water was represented in different colors and brush strokes. It was as if she could envision the movement as it flowed down the cliffside, and the beautiful rainbow-like sparkle of light reflecting off the droplets. </p>
<p>Her head tilted curiously as she got a closer look. There was something oddly familiar about this waterfall. And what was that near the bottom of the painting? A tiny stone pathway? Suddenly she gasped and her eyes widened. This was no ordinary waterfall. This was <em>Arendelle’s</em> waterfall. A quick glance at some of the other pieces showed them to be Arendellian recreations as well. An unfamiliar eye would only see beautiful landscapes, but she knew better. Her heart started to thump harder in her chest. There was only one person in this family who had seen all of those places. Only one person who had been to Arendelle. </p>
<p>This was Hans’ corridor. She found him. </p>
<p>Her pace quickened down the hall until she found a lone door at the end. Now that she was finally here, she hesitated at the doorknob. Part of her was rather nervous about barging into his room in the middle of the night. The other part of her was scared that the door was actually locked. </p>
<p><em>He promised me.</em> She told herself over and over. <em>It’ll open. It <b>has</b> to.</em>The knob turned, and she let out a sigh of relief. </p>
<p>Hans’ chambers were larger than she anticipated. She walked into what appeared to be a sitting room. By the large, unlit fireplace there was a sofa and a set of chairs. On the far end was a large bay window with a padded bench seat, and staged near it was a wooden stool and painting easel partially covered with a cloth. That confirmed her suspicions that the artwork hanging in the corridor was painted by Hans himself. She had no idea he was so talented. It left her intrigued, and if she got the chance or remembered, she would have to ask about it, and any other potential hobbies he might have. </p>
<p>There was an adjoining room off to the side. That’s where the source of light in the room came from and she crept to the doorway. Her cheeks instantly reddened. This was his bedroom. This fireplace was well lit and it gave the room a wonderfully warm glow. Her eyes instantly gravitated to the bed. She could see a mass under the blankets. He was sound asleep. </p>
<p>Anna was frozen in place. Should she knock on the doorframe? Would he hear her? Or should she dare approach the bed? Just standing there felt like such an invasion of his privacy. Oh, if Elsa were around to find out about this– </p>
<p><em>Elsa…</em>. </p>
<p>Her jaw quivered at the sudden remembrance of why she was here in the first place. She didn’t wander all this way just to stare at him while he slept. She was a queen, not a creep. </p>
<p>Anna swallowed down the nerves holding her back and quietly approached his bedside. He was sleeping on his back. His head was turned away from her, and one of his arms was propped against the many pillows behind his head. He looked so peaceful. It would be a real shame to disturb him. </p>
<p>
  <em>Clearly I have no shame, or I wouldn’t be here in the first place. </em>
</p>
<p>Her trembling hand reached out to gently nudge his shoulder. “H-Hans?” </p>
<p>He let out a groan at being disturbed, and his eyes fluttered open soon after. They scanned about to see who woke him, and they immediately widened and he struggled to sit up as soon as he caught sight of her. </p>
<p>“Anna??” </p>
<p>“Um, hi…” </p>
<p>“What are you doing here?” He asked and rubbed some sleep from his eyes. “It’s late.” </p>
<p>A wave of hurt and guilt suddenly coursed through her and she took a step back. Now wasn’t the time to doubt herself and her intentions. He was just tired. He meant no offense. Her hands found the tie of her robe and started fumbling with the string between her fingers. “I… I can’t sleep.” </p>
<p>A half-smile formed on his face. “I know we had a rather… <em>emotional</em> reunion a few days ago, but I’m sorry to have gotten your hopes up. You can’t come to bed with me.” </p>
<p>Her cheeks turned bright red. He was teasing her. He <em>had to be</em>. There was no way anything in his right mind would make him think she desired a real intimate encounter with him, especially with their history. </p>
<p>“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that.” Anna said in her best queenly voice. Oh, if only she had a pillow in her hands. What a perfect opportunity this would have been to swat him hard in the face. </p>
<p>“And I’m going to pretend that you <em>didn’t</em> just take me seriously.” </p>
<p>“…you said I could come to you if I needed you.” She said, deciding it was best if she got right to the point of her visit before his cheeky self said something else to set her off. </p>
<p>Hans leaned back against his pillows and sighed. “I did say that,” he nodded, “I suppose I just didn’t expect you to take me up on my offer in the middle of the night.” </p>
<p>Her arms hugged close to her chest and started to turn away. There was plenty of hurt in her voice. “If it’s really a bother to you, I’ll go–” </p>
<p>“<em>NO.”</em> he waved his hands about. “It’s alright. If… if you’re seeking me out, then you need me. I’m hardly in the position to refuse a queen.” </p>
<p>She tried to force a smile as she glanced back towards him. It didn’t work so well. “Thank you.” </p>
<p>Hans hesitated in pushing the blankets off him. His eyes even shifted between her and the doorway to the next room. “Perhaps… you could wait out there for a moment? I’ll make myself slightly more presentable.” </p>
<p>Anna glanced down at her own nightdress and robe. “Right…” she gave a quick nod and scampered back to the sitting room. From the other side of the wall, she could hear him groan and move about. She made sure to stay on the opposite end by the window. She perched herself on the padded bench and glanced outside. Hans had a lovely view of the grounds, from what she could make out in the dark. Now that she knew where he hid out during the day, she could make it a point to stop by for a better look. </p>
<p>“Oh, there you are.” Hans’ voice broke the silence a few minutes later. When she turned to him, she could immediately feel her cheeks reddening. He stood there in just his linen shirt tucked into a pair of brown trousers held up with suspenders. His collar was left unbuttoned and a bit skewed. Even his hair was still tousled from bed. He didn’t seem to care. She did, though. He looked…well, she couldn’t figure out the exact term to describe him, but the sight of him alone gave her a strange sense of warmth that she didn’t want to have. </p>
<p>“That was fast.” </p>
<p>He shrugged and approached her, stopping just a few feet away to not invade her space. “Well, with you in your bedclothes, I figured I didn’t need to break out the formal attire.” He clasped his hands behind his back, “so… what brings you to my humble abode?” </p>
<p>A smile lasted about a few seconds before she let out a deep sigh. “I’ve not had a great day. It’s… painful. I guess I was hoping to just talk to someone. A… a friend.” </p>
<p>Hans nodded and offered her to come closer to the fireplace. “Here, make yourself comfortable.” He said as he tossed some kindling into the hearth. “You don’t want to stay by the window at night, trust me. It’s drafty.” </p>
<p>He didn’t need to tell her twice. In a flash, she was up and moving to the sofa. Upon sitting down, she kicked off her slippers and tucked her feet up under her nightdress and watched him build the fire. His shirt must have been well worn through, because it was thin enough that she could see the outline of his form against the fire– his arms especially in contrast to the loose, baggy sleeves. She quickly averted her gaze, and took the opportunity to glance around the rest of the room now that there was more light. His walls had some framed art hanging as well. A few small canvases and sketches scattered about, just enough to give the room a little bit of a personal touch. Aside from the artwork, there wasn’t much else in the way of personal decor, just a sword rack leaning against a chest of drawers. She could almost see why he felt compelled to hide away here for the foreseeable future. It was a far more comfortable environment than she was imagining the other day. </p>
<p>“So…” Hans said softly as he sank down in one of the arm chairs across from her. “What’s got my dear lady so upset?” </p>
<p>Anna bit her lip. What was there that <em>didn’t</em> make her upset these days? </p>
<p>“…Elsa.” She sighed. “Today is– <em>was– </em>her twenty-fifth birthday…” </p>
<p>“Oh…” He frowned. “I… I’m sorry. I can’t imagine how difficult this must be.” </p>
<p>Anna shook her head. “Twenty-five was supposed to be one of those big ones. Milestones, y’know? I started planning what to do the day after <em>my</em> birthday. It’s been like a competition between us of who could outdo the other.” </p>
<p>“I bet you threw marvelous parties.” </p>
<p>Anna tried to smile. “I did, but Elsa always won out in the end.” The smile faded. “It helped to have magic.” </p>
<p>There was an uncomfortable silence between them for several minutes as Hans waited for her to continue. All she could manage to do, however, was close her eyes and droop her head down to her lap. </p>
<p>“This grief… it’s a gravity that just pulls me down. I’ve felt it before. Six years ago, my parents were lost at sea. I had to bury them alone; grieve alone. Bear the burden of being orphaned alone. I never saw nor heard from Elsa once. She didn’t even write me a note and slip it under her door. I really felt left behind.” Her eyes fluttered open and she fidgeted with the outer edge of her robe, “After the summer thawed and things started to develop into this new, happier life, I thought the pain of my past was gone forever; that I’d never have to feel so lonely, so <em>empty</em> again. </p>
<p>“Anna–” </p>
<p>“–That’s what loneliness is, you know. It’s pure emptiness. And an empty life is not living. It’s <em>surviving</em>. That was my life then. That’s what it feels like now. Three, even six years gone by is not long enough time to forget.” </p>
<p>“What happened?” He asked softly. “How did it happen?” </p>
<p>She glanced up at him with slightly widened eyes. They latched onto his soft green ones and for a moment, she wasn’t sure if she should say for fear of reliving it all over again. But… that’s what brought her here in the first place. To talk. To air her sorrows. To take away some of her burden. </p>
<p>“I’m not sure how much of this you’ll really believe.” </p>
<p>“Try me.” </p>
<p>Anna shifted on the sofa. “Elsa was hearing voices. Not the crazy-mad-asylum kind, but like a magical one– a whisper in the winds. And then things started happening in the kingdom. Water stopped flowing. Fires stopped burning. And the winds became so localized and so strong that they pushed everyone out of the city” </p>
<p>“His brow furrowed in confusion. “Why?” </p>
<p>“The elements were manifested spirits from an enchanted forest north of the kingdom.  They apparently had years old grievances to pay, and we learned that we had to go there not only to save Arendelle, but to understand what the voice wanted with Elsa.” She let out a sigh. “It’s a long story that I don’t really feel like diving into completely, but the important thing was that it was going to be dangerous, and I had to practically beg Elsa to let me come along for support. She promised we would do everything together, and that we wouldn’t leave each other’s side.” </p>
<p>“I get the feeling that’s not what happened.” </p>
<p>“As time went on, Elsa became more obsessed with the voice and how the spirits of the forest were interacting with her magic. I was starting to believe that she was forgetting the true goal– to save Arendelle. I stuck to her like glue to keep us on task, but with every passing hour it was growing more difficult. It got to the point where we reached an impasse. Just when I thought I was getting through to her, she sent me away and continued on alone.” Her lips started quivering  as she felt a wave of grief overcoming her. “I was so angry with her… and that’s the last memory she had of me. Yelling at her. I… I never saw her alive again.” </p>
<p>Anna tucked her legs up and pulled her nightdress over her feet. “Long story short, Arendelle is fine. Everyone is fine. But <em>I’m </em>not fine. <em>Elsa’s</em> not fine. She’s <em>gone</em>…. She died saving everyone. That’s what everyone will see, and what they will remember. Elsa the Snow Queen. Elsa with the magic.” </p>
<p>“What about you?” </p>
<p>Anna tried hard to keep control of her voice as it cracked in and out. “She was always ‘just Elsa’ to me. My sister. Yes, she had magic, but it didn’t define who she was. It was a special gift. It didn’t consume every aspect of her life. And I think that’s what really hurts. I just miss her. <em>Really</em> miss her.” She continued after a brief period of silence, “Her magic still played a part of her identity. It’s like there’s no trace of her left. Her ice palace, Olaf, Marshy… even the frozen spires on top of my castle, every residual piece of her magic is gone.”</p>
<p>“Do you know what makes me saddest? I mean, besides her absence. I don’t even know if she ever found out the truth about her magic, about the voice she so desperately sought.  She appreciated the fun and beauty of what her magic could do, but I don’t think it ever gave her peace. I think even to the end, the strength of her powers gave her so much anxiety. She was always secretly afraid of losing control. Elsa could never see herself the way <em>I</em> saw her. Strong and confident. Unique and special. And I sometimes can’t help but think that she died without truly loving herself.” </p>
<p>Hans straightened in his chair. “Do you really think so?” </p>
<p>Anna shrugged. “Deep down? I think so, but I’ll never know for sure, now.” With a sigh, she finally glanced up and stared at him with a frown. </p>
<p>“…what?” He eventually asked when her eyes wouldn’t leave him. </p>
<p>Her hand moved to pat the seat beside her. “Sit with me?” She watched as he stood and crossed the open space to the sofa. Hans sat down and left a respectable few inches between them that didn’t last more than a few seconds. Anna slid herself over to lean right up beside him and rest her head against his shoulder. </p>
<p>“I bet things would have been different if Elsa and I weren’t separated as kids. Maybe… maybe if she was able to embrace her magic from the beginning, she would still be here.” Her voice suddenly cracked, “I’d get another chance to tell her that I love her….”</p>
<p>Hans adjusted to wrap his arm around her shoulders. “You can’t dwell on what could have been. Nothing can change what has happened. You just have to face the challenging road ahead with as much strength as you can.” </p>
<p>“Strength? I’m not sure what that is, anymore.” Her head nuzzled against him. “It’s hard to feel strong when you’re surrounded by people who think they can do your job better; who think they know what’s best for you, for the kingdom; when you’re walking through the city and hear whispers about you, on how things will either be better or worse because the Snow Queen is gone– yes, I’ve heard both sides.” She sighed sadly, “You can’t imagine what that’s like.” </p>
<p>“Well… not in a grief stricken sense, but you <em>have</em> met my family. I’m the devilish black sheep, remember?” </p>
<p>“…right.” </p>
<p>“I do know what it’s like to be critiqued for things beyond my control, most of the time quite wrongly.” </p>
<p>“Do you know what it’s like to have had everyone make decisions on your behalf for your entire life? Between my parents separating me and Elsa for my own protection, then Elsa ignoring me all those years… then the coronation and everything… and now? Because Elsa’s gone, I’m forced into a position that I wasn’t prepared for without a say. I think the only time I genuinely made a decision on my own with zero outside influence was when I chose <em>you</em>.” She pulled her head back to glance up at his face. “You made me feel so wanted and loved, and you came just at the right time.” </p>
<p>“Even that decision wasn’t ultimately your own to keep.” Hans pointed out, returning her gaze. </p>
<p>“No… I suppose not. But I chose you myself. That mattered a lot to me.” Her brow furrowed. “Maybe it was all because I was never the best at making decisions. Clearly <em>we</em> didn’t work.” </p>
<p>“That had nothing to do with you. Everything wrong between us was ultimately my own doing.” </p>
<p>Her brow furrowed as her mind started to think about what could have been. “Hans?” </p>
<p>“Hmm?” </p>
<p>“Would we have been happy?” </p>
<p>“Undoubtedly so.” </p>
<p>Anna shook her head and readjusted her position so she could look about the room. “I appreciate you listening. About Elsa. It really means a lot to have a… a friend. A shoulder to cry on.” </p>
<p>“It’s the least I can do.” </p>
<p>Her eyes landed on the covered easel and she barely managed a smile. “You’re a painter?” She could feel him shifting against her to see where she was looking. </p>
<p>“My hobby. It makes for a good escape from the real world.” </p>
<p>“You’re very talented.” She said. “I saw the ones in the corridor. They’re beautiful.” </p>
<p>“Thank you.” He hesitated before continuing, “those are special. They’re–” </p>
<p>“–Our night?” She finished for him. </p>
<p>Hans nodded. “They’re <em>you</em>. Your favorite places. Like I said before, you were the best thing to ever happen to me. That day, that night, was the best of my entire life. I wanted to preserve it. I needed a physical reminder of everything you were to me.” </p>
<p>“But you also said that I broke you.” </p>
<p>“It doesn’t change what happened. It doesn’t change my feelings. Gazing upon them will always remind me of us, what I had, and what I lost.” </p>
<p>Anna frowned. “Will you ever stop punishing yourself?” </p>
<p>“I doubt it.” </p>
<p>Anna sighed and glanced to his hand as it rubbed up and down her arm. Soon, the only sounds in the room came from the crackling fire. </p>
<p>“Anna?” His voice sounded a bit nervous as it broke the silence. </p>
<p>“Yes?” </p>
<p>“…Will you ever forgive me for what I’ve done?” </p>
<p>The question caught her off guard. She straightened up slightly to get a look at his face. There was a strange expression staring back at her. It was painful, and yet in a way, hopeful too. </p>
<p><em>I think he wants this pain to end just like I do. We’re both just grieving over different things.</em> </p>
<p>Still, his question rendered her speechless. Their history was complicated. He didn’t just hurt her feelings, he tried to kill Elsa, too. In the beginning, she had always told herself that what he did was unforgivable. But as time went on and she heard different perspectives of what happened during the frozen summer, she slowly came to realize that the decision to try and end her sister’s life was not necessarily an invalid one– if he were acting on behalf of the kingdom’s preservation. It <em>was</em> possible that his course of action could have been the only viable way to stop the storm. It didn’t make his actions right by her standards, but she could at least understand <em>why</em>. </p>
<p>As for breaking her heart, what good was a true love’s kiss if the love wasn’t true to begin with? What did she even know about love? She was a naiive eighteen-year-old girl who only knew of the real world for a few days. Her ideas of love and marriage came from fairytales and fables. And Hans.. if he never experienced someone loving him before, how could he possibly know what true love was in the first place? How could he ever have anticipated her truly desiring him? The manner in which he rejected her was rather appalling, but in the end she couldn’t really blame him for dishing out a harsh dose of reality to a silly, desperate girl who already didn’t have a real chance of surviving. </p>
<p>Her true change of heart on the subject of Hans and his misdeeds were never discussed aloud. She knew Elsa had never forgiven him. And Kristoff, well… she’d rather not dwell on <em>his</em> opinions of Hans.</p>
<p>“Hans…I…” she whispered, “I already have. A long time ago.” </p>
<p>His eyes suddenly lit up in a way that she hadn’t seen since the moment he proposed to her years prior. And what was that in the corner of his eyes? Her eyes softened at the sight of a single tear sliding down his cheek. </p>
<p>“Oh Anna…” he choked out, struggling to maintain a calm composure. “You… you have no idea what that means to me.” </p>
<p>Anna reached up to wipe the tear drop with her thumb. “I hope it means you can learn to forgive yourself.” </p>
<p>A weak smile crept across his face as he turned his head to lean into her palm. “Perhaps one day.” </p>
<p>“I hope so.” She released him and went to lean back against his side when he suddenly stood up from the sofa and caused her to fall onto her side. “H-hey!” Her jaw dropped when he retreated into his bedroom a moment. She peered over the back of the sofa as she waited for him to return. When he reemerged, he held a decent size blanket in his hands. It got tossed to the empty side of the sofa as he moved to the door. “W-wait! Where are you going?” </p>
<p>“To get us some cocoa. It’ll help you feel better. Go ahead and get warm. I’ll be right back.” </p>
<p>“But–” she reached for the blanket, but he was out the door before she could further protest. While she waited, she cocooned herself in the throw and watched the flames flicker back and forth. Talking through some of her issues did seem to help take some of her stress away. She told him some things that she had never told anyone, not even General Mattias. At home, she was expected to grieve but also behave like the queen everyone expected her to be. She couldn’t do that. She could never be one to hide away her emotions as well as Elsa could. And she certainly couldn’t let her guard down here, not with so many princes around every corner waiting to catch her in a bad way. But here, with Hans, she wasn’t <em>Queen Anna</em>. She was <em>just Anna</em>. So much pressure was lifted off her shoulders the instant they sat down to talk. She wished she could feel this free all the time. </p>
<p>Hans returned a short time later with two steaming mugs in his hands. She didn’t ask how he managed that so quickly. In a way, she didn’t care. She was warm. She had cocoa. Nothing else mattered. </p>
<p>Well, and Hans. He mattered, too. </p>
<p>“Now…” he said softly as he resettled back down beside her and handed off her drink, “It’s Elsa’s birthday. I can’t think of a better way to honor her than to remember all of your happy times together. So… tell me <em>everything</em>.” </p>
<p>“E-everything?” She asked as she cradled the mug in her hands. She could smell the chocolate. Warm and delicious. Yes, this would definitely hit the spot. She gave a small half-smile as she let the steam tickle her nose. “There’s kind-of a lot in three years, y’know.” </p>
<p>“That’s okay.” Hans reassured her and gently tapped his mug against hers. “We’ve got all night.” </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Snow Games</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Queen Charlotte finally gets to spend some quality time with Anna, and they have a heartfelt chat on lost love. And, in an attempt to help cheer Anna up, she rallies the Westergaard men into participating in some harmless outdoor fun, but not everything goes according to plan.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Did you know that I woke up to flowers at my bedside table this morning?" Anna asked. "They were gorgeous! It was such a lovely surprise. You wouldn't happen to know where they came from… would you?"</p>
<p>Queen Charlotte shook her head, but there was the briefest glimpse of a knowing smile on her face just before she answered. "Can't say I do."</p>
<p>Anna raised her brow. "Why don't I believe you?"</p>
<p>Charlotte laughed, "Because deep down, you know who it was from." She tugged the blanket tighter over her lap. "And I was sworn to secrecy, so you won't get any real answers out of me, anyway."</p>
<p>The two queens were lounging on large outdoor chairs outside the castle's south entrance. Servants cleaned off the furniture from the recent heavy snowfall and cleared away the stone deck overlooking the yard just beyond the steps. It was cold outside, but the women were kept warm wrapped in their cloaks, gloves, bonnets, and all snuggled under warm blankets. Agatha, Queen Charlotte's lady's maid and all-around right hand, had even brought out warm mugs of cider for them to drink. This was the first real chance since Anna arrived to spend some decent time with Charlotte. Though why the queen chose such a strange setting was beyond her. They could have easily found a quiet part of the castle to chat instead of the cold. But the sun was shining, and the breeze was light. In all, it was a lovely day, and Anna did enjoy the fresh air. Better than constantly being cooped up in the castle.</p>
<p>"So… what's going on?" Anna asked as Agatha refilled her mug. "I know you're up to something."</p>
<p>Charlotte laughed, and before she was given much chance to respond, there was the sound of the castle doors bursting open and several footsteps approaching. The Westergaard princes had all filed out and moved to stand against the short stone wall overlooking the grounds. As Anna glanced at the men's faces, she could see that a good half of them did not seem pleased about being outside.</p>
<p><em>Are they all in on it too?</em> She wondered.</p>
<p>"Oh wonderful! You're all here." Charlotte briefly handed her mug to Agatha and unbundled herself from her cozy seat. "Shall we get started?"</p>
<p>"Not <em>all</em> of us are present." Tomas sighed. "Astor won't be coming."</p>
<p>"What? Why not?" Charlotte asked, clearly disappointed.</p>
<p>"Freddie needed him, last I heard." Alexei said. "Something about matters of state."</p>
<p>"Everything is a matter of state with that man." Charlotte sighed. "Oh, very well. We'll just have to make do without him."</p>
<p>"Well, if Astor could get out, then I want to go back inside." Lars complained as he shoved on his gloves. "It's freezing out here!"</p>
<p>"Maybe if you had some meat on your bones you wouldn't freeze to death." Derrick grumbled.</p>
<p>"Oh gentlemen, don't start whining." Charlotte said sternly with her hands on her hips. "No one is going back inside. It's a beautiful day, and we're all going to have some harmless <em>fun</em>." She turned to Anna with a smile on her face. "In honor of our lovely holiday guest, we're going to have a snowman-building-contest!"</p>
<p>Anna's eyes immediately went wide as excitement started to grow within. "Wait, what? Really?"</p>
<p>"…Really." Dirk deadpanned.</p>
<p>"To encourage cooperation and teamwork." Charlotte explained with emphasis. "Now go on down there and split off into teams. I think pairs would work best. The more creations to judge, the better!"</p>
<p>Dirk groaned loudly. "What's in it for us?"</p>
<p>"Yeah!" Tomas chimed in. "What does the winner get?"</p>
<p>"It'll be a surprise given out by Frederick."</p>
<p>Anna's eyed widened as she leaned over to tug on Charlotte's arm. "Really?"</p>
<p>Charlotte sat back down and whispered as quietly as she could. "No. I completely made that up. But don't tell them. It was hard enough just to get them all out here."</p>
<p>Anna tried to stiffen her giggles and straightened back up in her seat. The princes hadn't really moved or bothered to join pairs—well, the older twins, Viktor and Georg now stood a bit closer together, but they seemed like the only ones.</p>
<p>"There's an odd number." Anna frowned as she silently counted Westergaard heads.</p>
<p>"What? That can't be!" Charlotte eyed all the brothers in attendance. "I planned this perfectly—"</p>
<p>"Astor." Alexei reminded her and glanced to his brothers. "It's alright, Charlotte. I don't mind joining into a trio."</p>
<p>Anna's fingers tapped against her mug. Astor couldn't come play, but he wasn't the only Westergaard absent. "What about Hans?"</p>
<p>Charlotte turned to her with a mixed expression on her face. "I proposed the idea yesterday. He politely declined."</p>
<p><em>Because of his brothers…</em>. Anna thought. <em>He's avoiding them like the plague.</em> She recalled the last several days and how she spent a good deal of time up in the west wing, enjoying his company. They talked, joked around, he even showed her one of his latest paintings that he was working on. He was completely at ease with her, and it made her wonder if he would reconsider coming down. Perhaps he didn't know she was out here, too. "What if <em>I</em> asked him?" she suggested. "I could run upstairs—"</p>
<p>"—Oh no. You stay here." Charlotte said and turned to her maid, "Agatha, if <em>you</em> wouldn't mind making the journey to the west wing? Please inform Prince Hans that the Queen of Arendelle insists on his presence outside." Agatha nodded and hurried back inside. Once she was gone, Charlotte bundled herself back up under her blanket. "And now we wait."</p>
<p>Anna took a long sip of her cider and smiled as she felt the warmth slide down her insides. "So… what brought all this on, anyway?"</p>
<p>Charlotte shot her a sympathetic smile, "I remember the fun we used to get up to during your visits to Vallacia. You held such a carefree, fun aura… quite different to every other visiting royal to grace our kingdom. I suppose I miss that side of you. I miss your smile." She said softly, "This is a difficult time, of course, and I just thought this might cheer you up some and get your mind off your troubles. At least, for a short while."</p>
<p>Anna reached over to place her hand over Charlotte's. "That's really sweet of you. And I love the idea!" Her smile waned a bit as she thought of Elsa. "I always loved snowmen. Elsa and I would build them as kids all the time. We had a special one, Olaf, that she brought to life. He was probably the closest friend I've ever had." She took a deep breath, "he's gone, too… the whole magic thing—" Anna took a moment to compose herself. "Anyway, I bet <em>this</em> should be entertaining to say the least. I didn't peg this to be something that Westergaard men do."</p>
<p>Charlotte laughed, "it really isn't. But I suppose this is my way of getting back at them for giving me a hard time."</p>
<p>"How'd you manage to get them out here? Especially the younger ones?" She was referring to Tomas, Lars, Dirk and Derrick. "They're never eager to do much of anything."</p>
<p>Charlotte snickered, "Are you familiar with the family concept that there's one parent that's fun and easy-going, and the other essentially puts the fear of God into their children?"</p>
<p>Anna thought back to her own parents. Both her mother and father hard their strict moments, as well as their times of spoiling her and Elsa—at least before the isolation. "I'm not sure if my parents fit that mold, but I can imagine such a thing."</p>
<p>"Well, think of me as the nice one. The <em>fun</em> one." Charlotte said. "Frederick is the terrifying one."</p>
<p>"But they're just your-well, <em>his</em> brothers."</p>
<p>"As King and Queen, we're the head of the family. It's close enough. He more or less coerced them to—"</p>
<p>The castle doors suddenly swung open as someone else joined the masses on the deck. It didn't take long to figure out who it was. Several of the princes suddenly seemed far more put out than they were before."</p>
<p>"As If this ridiculous activity couldn't get any worse." Derrick grumbled. "What's <em>he</em> doing here?"</p>
<p>"That's it. I'm out." Lars declared, but only made it two steps back to the castle before Viktor grabbed onto the back collar of his coat to keep him in place.</p>
<p>Anna was on the verge of shooting the complainers dirty looks but then Hans came into her view. All bundled up in his warm chocolate brown greatcoat and black gloves, he stopped at Charlotte's chair first to greet her with a simple nod-bow and kiss on the cheek. When he moved to stand before <em>her</em>, his display of deference was much more involved. He bowed deep at the neck and then knelt briefly before her to kiss her hand. Anna was thankful that her cheeks were already pinkened from the cold air. It made for a good cover to hide her blushes working their way out.</p>
<p>And besides, she didn't want to catch herself all flustered in front of <em>his brothers</em>. Ugh.</p>
<p>"<em>Your Majesty</em>," Hans said softly as he released her hand and straightened back up to his full height. "You summoned me?"</p>
<p>"Yes, Hans!" Charlotte said with a kind smile, "We were hoping you would even out the numbers for our game."</p>
<p>Hans didn't even bother trying to hide the disappointed look in his eyes as he sighed and glanced to the congregation of brothers. "I'd rather not, if it's all the same to you."</p>
<p>"But Alexei needs a partner."</p>
<p>"I'm sorr—"</p>
<p>"-<em>Please</em>, Hans." Anna pleaded, and she could feel her heart skip a beat when he looked back at her. Oh, how she wished his mere gaze would stop getting such a reaction out of her. "Would you do it for me? <em>Please</em>."</p>
<p>He shoved his hands into his coat pockets. "You wound me, <em>My Lady</em>. and here I thought we were friends."</p>
<p>Anna tried to reassure him with a warm smile. "We are. That hasn't changed. But I know how artistic and creative you are. I'm merely hoping you'll accept the challenge of a new medium." It felt weird to speak to him in such a formal fashion. During all the private times they spent sharing each other's company, he was simply Hans and she merely Anna. No titles. No deference. Out here among the family, she didn't want to get him in trouble for them being too lax. Her eyes locked on his, and immediately she felt a tad guilty. She knew he didn't want to be here at all, but this entire activity was designed for her own pleasure. Just once, she wanted something to go her way. And her way wanted Hans to play, too.</p>
<p>"Well," his shoulders slumped a bit as he bowed his head in defeat, "If that is the Queen of Arendelle's wish, I suppose I have no right to refuse." He dragged himself down the stairs to join up with Alexei—a brother who at least looked both interested in the game and delighted to have Hans as his partner.</p>
<p>Charlotte announced the formal rules of the contest, and then the princes all split off around the open yard so that each pair had their own space to work. Viktor and Georg paired together, then there was Alexei and Hans, Tomas and Lars, and finally Dirk and Derrick made the last team.</p>
<p>It took several minutes after the contest formally began for any of the men to even start digging their gloved hands into the snow. To Anna's amusement, the field was generally split down the middle; two teams participating, two dragging their feet.</p>
<p>"How do you think these will turn out?" Anna asked her companion.</p>
<p>Charlotte shrugged slightly, "to be honest, I anticipate Viktor and Georg to have the best one. When I told them all about this, they seemed the most excited. I mean, they're all grown men, and those two especially are the oldest ones out here, but they're also the most childish at heart." She smiled. "Dirk and Derrick, Tomas and Lars… I'll honestly be surprised if they come up with <em>anything</em> resembling a snowman." She eyed Anna carefully. The younger queen's soft gaze was on the men in the snow. She tried to trace exactly where Anna was looking and couldn't help but smile fondly. "I don't suppose I need to guess the team that's caught your eye."</p>
<p>It took a lot for Anna to pry her eyes away to look at Charlotte, and when she saw the knowing look the woman was giving her, she blushed. Again. "I… I don't know what you're talking about."</p>
<p>"Anna, darling, you know that you can talk to me. You have my confidence."</p>
<p>Anna took a deep breath and glanced down to her hands as they stroked the edge of the blanket. "I know he wasn't supposed to see me… but I've been spending a lot of time with Hans."</p>
<p>"Yes, I know."</p>
<p>Her eyes widened as she looked back to her friend. "…how?" Her heart started thumping in her chest. She was so sure that she was being discreet—not as if anything truly terrible happened. Nothing illicit ever occurred between her and Hans. The only forbidden aspect to their company was the company itself.</p>
<p>Charlotte smiled to her, "This is my castle. I know everything that goes on. That and the kitchen maids found it odd that Prince Hans was suddenly consuming twice as much cocoa every time he came down to ask for it. It didn't take long to put two and two together."</p>
<p>"Oh." Anna bit her lip, "Frederick must be livid."</p>
<p>"He doesn't know. He doesn't need to know." Charlotte replied, "And should my husband find out, it won't make any difference. Hans was warned to stay away because we believed there to be bad blood between you two. You're grieving, and the last thing we wanted was for Hans to be unkind and upset you further. Since that's clearly not the case, then there's nothing to worry about."</p>
<p>Anna let out a sigh of relief, "Thank goodness. I promise though, nothing has ever happened between us. Mostly we just talk. Sometimes we play chess. I'm terrible at it and usually lose, but it passes the time and gets my mind off things." Her gaze shifted back to the yard. Hans was standing off to the side of his and Alexei's creation, trying to clump a bit of snow in his hands. She had a good view of his profile and let herself admire his handsome features. The corners of her mouth turned upwards. From what she could tell, he didn't seem terribly upset about being outside anymore. She wondered what he was thinking, and what part of the creation he was working on. "I got to see some of his paintings, too." She added after a long pause, "he has such a marvelous talent. Does he have pieces hanging all over the castle?"</p>
<p>"Oh no. Just in his rooms and the adjoining corridor. That's his space."</p>
<p>"But why not?" Anna asked. "I'm surprised he doesn't want to display them. They're marvelous!"</p>
<p>"I'm surprised he hasn't told you, considering the hours spent in your company." Charlotte sighed and glanced to the yard for a moment. "It's—"</p>
<p>"—let me guess." Anna interrupted. "Something to do with his brothers?"</p>
<p>"Unfortunately, most things wrong with Hans have <em>everything</em> to do with them—mostly his immediate older ones"</p>
<p>Anna's brow furrowed. "Are they the reason he's also living in a private suite on the opposite end of the castle?"</p>
<p>"They tried to kill him."</p>
<p>Anna could have sworn her heart skipped a beat. Her eyes could only widen with horror as she stared hard at her friend. "Wait, <em><strong>what</strong></em><em>?I</em> Why? When?"</p>
<p>"Upon his return from Arendelle." Charlotte said solemnly. "I can't tell you everything. Most of the abuse he's endured at their hands occurred before I married Frederick. But I remember just over a year ago, Frederick and I were taking a stroll through the grounds when we caught sight of Dirk and Derrick attacking him with swords." She paused at Anna's horrified gasp. "Hans held his own for quite a while, but Frederick ultimately stepped in once Dirk got Hans in the shoulder and it didn't appear either of them were going to stand down."</p>
<p>"They're <em>brothers</em>!" Anna whispered. Her hand moved to cover her mouth as she eyed Dirk and Derrick. They were not putting much effort into their project. Instead, they were rolling snow and staring off in Hans and Alexei's direction.</p>
<p>"I'm sure you've noticed by now, there's not many members of this family that are genuinely kind."</p>
<p>"…I have." Anna shook her head. It was no wonder Hans behaved as he did now. If members of his own family were willing to end him for what he did in Arendelle, why should he bother forgiving himself. Her own heart suddenly broke for Hans. She had no idea this had transpired. Not even Elsa desired the man dead, and he tried to kill <em>her</em>. What was it like for him, to have to share a roof with such terrible people? It explained why he avoided his family… why he essentially lived alone. Who would want to have to look over their shoulder at every turn to be sure someone wasn't after him with a weapon? The mere thought made her shudder.</p>
<p>"You'll keep that to yourself, of course." Charlotte said, "I doubt Hans would want you to know the truth."</p>
<p>Anna nodded. "I can see why he spends his days painting, and now I'm glad to have visited him in his solitude so much. He's been so hard on himself over what's happened between us. I wish…" she sighed, "I wish he could find a way to heal. He's helped me immensely. On my worst days, I've gone up to see him and even just sitting next to him had taken some of my pain away. It's strange. He's the last person I would have thought to desire for company. I just… I feel a warmth that I haven't felt in a long time."</p>
<p>Charlotte reached over to gently take Anna's hand. "I'm glad you found solace. I know what's it's like to lose a sibling. My oldest brother died years ago. We were awfully close, and his death hit me just as hard as Elsa's did for you. It took a long time to move past it. The support in someone really does make a difference. I had hoped that we would have more of a chance to connect since I had concerns that the princes and their… less than stellar behavior might make things worse. But you seem to have found your support. If Hans is helping, then I couldn't be happier."</p>
<p>Anna smiled briefly before returning her gaze to her prince. "He reminds me of happier times when there were no cares. No troubles. Just a pair of childish adults having the time of our lives." She squeezed Charlotte's hand. "I miss that between me and Hans. I… I loved him then. I really did. And being here, reunited with him… it's nice, but it's hard too. I desperately wish he could be the man I fell in love with. Things are different now. I understand that." Anna frowned, "We have our issues. It's like… we broke each other, and neither of us know how to fix us."</p>
<p>"Perhaps you just have to give it time. You're dealing with a great deal of stress right now. Take one challenge at a time, and maybe then everything will fall into place."</p>
<p>Anna nodded slowly, "Do you think Hans and I would ever have a real chance?"</p>
<p>"I think that all depends on you two, dear. If you want something strong enough, you'll do whatever it takes to make it happen."</p>
<p>
  <em>Yeah… but that's what got him in trouble in the first place.</em>
</p>
<p>"I will say though," Charlotte added, "he'd wait for you. For as long as it takes."</p>
<p>This certainly gave Anna a lot to think about. She and Hans certainly had their share of problems, both as a pair and on their own. If there was any chance or desire to share something with him that went beyond friendship, she would have to find a way past her broken heart, her grief, and her anxiety of suddenly becoming queen. And he… he would have to finally forgive himself for his past.</p>
<p>But she also had to ask herself if this would be what she really wanted. Three years ago, she rushed into an arrangement with Hans because he seemed to be the immediate solution to all of her problems. In a way, Elsa had been right—it <em>was</em> rather foolish to accept a marriage proposal from a man she barely knew. The last thing she wanted to do now was make the same mistake. She was the queen, now. There would be no room for rash decisions without considering consequences. She didn't need to give her courtiers yet another reason to think she incapable of properly ruling.</p>
<p>"Ten more minutes!" Charlotte's voice called out to the princes below and pulled Anna out of her thoughts. "It looks like some of you could use a bit more motivation!"</p>
<p>Anna fluttered her eyes to refocus and surveyed each of the works in progress. Viktor and Georg's looked to be about finished. Georg was attempting to mold a fashionable hat out of snow while Viktor used his fingers to draw a face. Hans and Alexei's appeared in a similar state of completion. Alexei found some twigs and stones from the nearby landscaping and created arms and buttons for theirs. Tomas and Lars' at least had the height of a snowman. That was about all she could give them credit for. Dirk and Derrick's….</p>
<p>
  <em>What </em>
  <em>
    <strong>is</strong>
  </em>
  <em> that?</em>
</p>
<p>"Agatha!" Charlotte called to her maid loud enough so the princes could hear. "Could you go inside and fetch the King? I'm sure he would love to become a third judge and marvel at everyone's <em>hard work</em>?"</p>
<p>"Yes, Your Majesty!"</p>
<p>Before Agatha could turn back to the castle, Charlotte reached out to gently grasp the woman's arm. "If you could really just bring us another round of that delicious cider, I would appreciate it." Charlotte said with a wink, her voice much softer this time.</p>
<p>It didn't escape Anna's notice how as soon as Charlotte made that announcement, the two pairs bringing up the rear suddenly got to work improving, or in Dirk and Derrick's case, <em>building </em>their snowman.</p>
<p>"He's not really coming, is he?" When Charlotte shook her head, Anna couldn't resist snickering. "That was sly!"</p>
<p>Charlotte burst into giggles. "Wasn't it? I wish I thought of it ten minutes ago! It's amazing how far a threat of the king's presence goes."</p>
<p>"But… this was supposed to be a fun activity."</p>
<p>"It is, darling. <em>For us</em>!" Charlotte grinned. "Those men have been getting on my nerves lately. It's long overdue that I really get to push my authority around."</p>
<p>Anna smiled. "Some of them <em>are</em> rather rude."</p>
<p>"Yes, unfortunately the good ones had to be lumped in with the bad, today. But at least they're the ones enjoying themselves out there."</p>
<p>"<em>What the hell was that for?!"</em> Hans' angry voice broke the otherwise silence from the yard. Charlotte and Anna exchanged puzzled looks before unburying themselves from their blankets and heading to the short wall to take a better look.</p>
<p>Anna's heart immediately sank. Alexei and Hans' hard work was completely destroyed. The base of their snowman was still standing, but the center body and above were knocked away by a huge snowball with a concealed rock inside. Alexei was busy trying to reconstruct their project by himself at the last minute while Hans glared venomously at Dirk and Derrick.</p>
<p><em>Oh no…</em> Theirs was naturally her favorite.</p>
<p>"Really guys? Can't you play fair for once in your lives?" Georg groaned. "That was completely uncalled for!"</p>
<p>"No. This is." Dirk smirked as he produced another rock-infused snowball and launched it right at the twins' project. It collided with the head and knocked the entire mass askew. Everyone watched as it slow motioned slid down the curve of the body before splatting on the ground.</p>
<p>"Wow." Lars uttered.</p>
<p>Viktor and Georg exchanged glances that quickly morphed into mischievous grins of their own.</p>
<p>"Well… if that's how you want to play," Viktor said as he bent down to quickly scoop a mound of snow into a decent ball, "…<em>take </em><em><strong>this</strong></em><em>!"</em> He launched it at Dirk as hard as he could, but the younger brother grabbed Lars' arm and dragged him into the line of fire. The snowball hit the lankiest Westergaard square in the chest and knocked him down to the ground.</p>
<p>"Oops…"</p>
<p>"<em><strong>SNOWBALL FIGHT!"</strong></em></p>
<p>Anna wasn't sure exactly who yelled that, but within seconds, snow was flying everywhere. All of the princes began scattering, slipping, sliding, and flailing into the snow as they made mad attempts to take each other out. No one was left unscathed. Even the remains of everyone's snowmen were ripped apart for ammo.</p>
<p>The two queens exchanged both shocked and amused glances. This certainly wasn't how either of them anticipated the afternoon to play out.</p>
<p>When Anna looked back to the yard, she found herself only counting seven princes. <em>Wait, where did Hans go?</em> Her eyes searched wildly for her prince only to eventually catch sight of someone practically crawling on their stomachs behind the shrubbery. In-between plants, she caught a flash of auburn hair. It was Hans, and she kept her eyes on him as he maneuvered a safe path to the back stairwell of the deck. He hugged the wall of the castle as he climbed up the steps. His once crisp and clean brown coat were now completely covered in the front with clumps of snow. The powder was even in his hair. After a quick stomping of his boots, he approached Anna with an annoyed frown on his face.</p>
<p>"I'll get back at you for this, <em>Your Majesty</em>."</p>
<p>Anna winced. "I'm sorry!" She whispered quickly to him and would have tried to help brush some of the snow out of his hair, but he latched onto her hand instead. His eyes never left hers as his head lowered to place a kiss against the back of her hand. She could feel her cheeks reddening, and her eyes widened when he appeared to wink at her. It all happened so fast. She was released, and Hans immediately retreated back inside before any of his brothers could spot him.</p>
<p>
  <em>Perhaps he's not so angry after all. I'll go visit him later… and accept whatever he's going to do to me. Probably hit me with a snowball he's got hidden in his pocket. Or he'll have Sitron run me over at the soonest opportunity….</em>
</p>
<p>"<em><strong>Get Derrick!"</strong></em></p>
<p>Anna's gaze quickly went back to see everyone trying to take shots at the youngest Westergaard left. He was making a run for some of the trees. He barely managed to touch the nearest tree trunk when his back got pelted all at once.</p>
<p>"…Do you think we should stop them?" Anna asked, then couldn't help but chuckle at Charlotte's amused smile.</p>
<p>"Oh no. Granted, this is not how I envisioned the afternoon to go, but it's certainly better than I expected!"</p>
<p>The castle doors opened once more, and Agatha returned with fresh cider. "My heavens!" She exclaimed. "What happened to the snowmen?"</p>
<p>"The contest was abandoned for a more preferable activity." Charlotte said, "This works quite well. Let them tire themselves out and now we'll all be rewarded with a calm dinner tonight. Oh, won't Frederick be upset to have missed this."</p>
<p>"Shall I fetch him, Milady?"</p>
<p>Charlotte thought it over. "Please do! And Astor as well. I'm sure they could use a good laugh."</p>
<p>The queens moved their chairs closer for a better view, then resettled with their blankets and cider. "Cheers!" They giggled and tapped their mugs together.</p>
<p>Anna clutched the mug to her chest as she let the cider delight her senses. Charlotte certainly had the right idea.</p>
<p>A fun afternoon indeed.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Until We Meet Again</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Summary: On her last night in the Southern Isles, Anna tries to appear at her best, all the while stressing over what returning to Arendelle will truly mean for her, for Hans, and for their future.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
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  <p></p>
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    <p>If there was a grand event that the Southern Isles was known for, it was their New Year's Gala. Hosted by the reining queen, every year there was always a high turnout of extended Westergaard relatives and fellow royals and dignitaries from around the realm as everyone came together to celebrate the ending of one year, and the glorious excitement and hope a new one would bring. This particular one, successfully organized by Queen Charlotte, was no exception.</p>
    <p>Anna originally wasn't going to attend. It just didn't seem right to mingle and dance when she still considered herself in mourning. It was a tough decision to make because she absolutely loved parties, celebrations, and seeing old friends. Both Charlotte <em>and</em> Hans had opinions on that confronted her about it during the day before the party. The queen reminded her that she was under no obligation to dance, and she could merely socialize with her allies, especially now that this would be her first formal appearance as Arendelle's new queen. And if all she did was drink some champagne, raid the chocolate tray, and disappear early into the evening, no one would judge her. Elsa's death was no secret to the realm. Her friends would understand. And Hans…well… his encouragement was a bit blunter, which surprised her.</p>
    <p>"<em>I planned on attending all along. So, if I can survive the evening among my brothers and people who still consider me to be royal trash, then you can manage an appearance, too."</em></p>
    <p>So, there she stood off to the side of the lively ballroom, dressed in a flattering, off-shoulder black ballgown and matching gloves, her ensemble adorned with the purple and green sash and glistening golden crocus tiara befitting her regal status; watching the partygoers dance and mingle with a strained smile on her face as she tried to appear at her best. It wasn't an easy feat.</p>
    <p>The evening started out alright. Charlotte and Frederick reintroduced her to their friends and joined allies, some of whom she hadn't seen since Elsa's coronation party, as well as various members of Frederick's family. She had no idea the Southern Isles <em>had</em> so many other Westergaards. They were practically coming out of the woodwork. They all seemed nice enough, to <em>her</em> at least. In conversations, some of their side comments about fellow family members, mostly the current line of princes, left her rather shocked. Away from Frederick and Charlotte, she certainly got to learn some family secrets that she wished were rather left unsaid. Surprisingly, none of them were about Hans and his misdeeds. Perhaps that was one family secret kept behind the castle doors. Thank goodness. Some of these women made it their livelihoods to just gossip.</p>
    <p>One highlight early on was getting to meet Prince Ludwig, Hans' fourth-eldest brother. He and his wife, Giselle, lived in Corona, and came back briefly for the gala. She wished they had thought to come for Christmas, too. They were a lovely couple, and Ludwig had far more manners than at least four of his brothers <em>combined</em>. She would have loved to spend time with them, too, though she could easily see what drove him to move away. At least he seemed happy. It's more than she could say for some of his siblings.</p>
    <p>Things went downhill fast for her while she was conversing pleasantly with the King Alastor of Malengrad. Just within her earshot, she could hear Reginald Spencer, the Duke of Weselton, conversing with Chancellor Beker from Alvania and Lord Albery, the visiting dignitary from Armensgrad. Rather than be like everyone else in the room and talk about pleasant matters and hopeful futures, their subject of conversation hit far too close to home.</p>
    <p>Queen Elsa.</p>
    <p>'<em>This came far sooner than I anticipated,</em>' Duke Spencer's words stuck out to her, '<em>perhaps now my Duchy will actually be able to have reasonable trade once again.'</em></p>
    <p>'<em>Not to mention, the realm is now safe from an unstable witch. Thank goodness we will never have to worry about a miscommunication earning us an eternal winter,</em>' said Chancellor Beker.</p>
    <p>'<em>I hope </em><em><strong>the other one</strong></em><em> knows how to rule properly. The most I've seen during my visits to that wretched land were her playing with children and coddling some frightful snowman with children's books.</em>'</p>
    <p>Anna swallowed hard and tried her best to ignore them. Malengrad's King deserved her full attention. But the gentlemen's conversation kept going, ragging on about everything that made her heart hurt. It was as if they were staring right at her and could see all of her core insecurities out on full display. God, their brand of gossip was far worse than anything those Westergaard ladies were dishing out. Soon, the musician's current number had stopped, and the ballroom got noticeably quieter. It was easier for their damaging conversation to reach King Alastor, and he too formed a slight frown on his face as his eyes began scanning the ballroom looking for the unpleasant source.</p>
    <p>With their own discussion essentially over, she politely excused herself and bolted for the back of the ballroom. She was certain no amount of champagne or chocolate could help her mood. She had been introduced to Weselton's Duke earlier on, and he was very cordial with her. Clearly it was too much to think that three years had changed his true opinions for the better.</p>
    <p>No matter what, she told herself she wouldn't bail out early. She had to be poised. Calm. Regal. The very vision of a queen. Hiding would solve nothing. It wouldn't make her feel better. Everything would become a lot harder once she arrived home, and she knew she couldn't get into a routine of running from her problems. No, this was merely one party. She would face it with as much grace and dignity as Elsa would.</p>
    <p>That didn't mean she couldn't duck away for a private moment to compose herself. And if she needed several of them to get through to midnight, then so be it.</p>
    <p>Her plan was to sneak behind the pulled back velvet curtains tied to the ballroom columns to catch her breath and steel herself.</p>
    <p>She should have known that by now, <em>nothing</em> ever went according to plan.</p>
    <p>The instant Anna rounded a column, she crashed head-on into someone. She gasped and tried to back up, but her high heels got caught on the train of her gown, and she went flailing backwards. Her sight went immediately to the side, hoping she could at least catch onto the hanging curtains so she wouldn't land unceremoniously on the ground. And if that worked, she would pray that whatever anchored the curtains up would be strong enough to support her. Her fall was embarrassing enough. Having an entire velvet curtain and rod come crashing down on top of her would draw <em>everyone's </em>attention. She would never live this down.</p>
    <p>
      <em>God, why did I even come to this party?!</em>
    </p>
    <p>Before she could feel the impact of the cold stone floor, a set of arms latched onto her. One wrapped around her waist, the other onto her hand as they quickly flung her back upwards onto her feet. A bit too strongly, though. She ended up falling forward right into her savior's chest.</p>
    <p>"Glad I caught you."</p>
    <p>Her eyes widened as she glanced up and immediately let out the biggest sigh of relief. "Hans!"</p>
    <p>That creeping sense of deja vu was back. Wasn't this how he saved her from utter embarrassment during Elsa's party? She allowed her sights to travel over his form. He was a handsome vision in that familiar crème color ensemble that accentuated his frame in all the right places and made him appear the more noble prince of her long-lost desires. Her eyes locked back on his and they held the same worried gaze as before. That annoying little blush was creeping back onto her cheeks. At least, this time it was partially due to her clumsy embarrassment, not all from the man keeping her upright.</p>
    <p>"You know… we should really stop meeting like this." He teased, though he made no effort to release her. "Unless you enjoy having me catch you."</p>
    <p>Her free managed to pull a stray tendril of hair back behind her ear. "You do have impeccable timing," she managed to smile, "thank you."</p>
    <p>"Well, we can't have the Queen of Arendelle falling all over the place." He shrugged lightly and released her hand but kept his arm around her waist. "People will start to talk."</p>
    <p>Her smile faded. "People are already starting to talk. About me. Somehow, I don't think the sight of me being a klutz will do much to change their opinions. It'll probably just validate them."</p>
    <p>His amused expression instantly faded as he briefly glanced around the crowded ballroom. "Who is it? What did they say?"</p>
    <p>Anna forcibly pulled away from him and shook her head. "I don't really want to talk about it. Not here. I came back to hide, not make myself feel worse."</p>
    <p>"I've got a better idea." He said, and with a small smile on his lips, he gently took her one hand and guided her around the back of the ballroom. There was a staircase going up to the second-floor gallery and he guided her up.</p>
    <p>She had never been up here before. It was much higher than she thought, and once on the proper floor, he guided her to the railing to gaze down. It was a magnificent view of the activity below, and it made the ballroom seem a lot larger and fuller than she realized. All at once she could see the throne where King Frederick and Queen Charlotte currently sat, along one side wall were all of the musicians, and around the surrounding walls were just people standing aside conversing with one another. The very center was covered with dancers, men in their finest attire and the ladies appearing like circles as their full skirts twirled around their legs as they waltzed. She could spot some of the princes mixed around the room. Tomas and Lars were hovered around the refreshments, and Viktor and Georg were chatting with Ludwig near the main doors.</p>
    <p>She and Hans weren't the only ones taking refuge on the upper level. Several people had also come up to stand out of the way and catch up with old friends.</p>
    <p>"C'mon." Hans said softly to her, and gently pried her away from the rail to take her outside to one of the balconies. "If you want to hide, we can do it together."</p>
    <p>"You're hiding, too?" She asked.</p>
    <p>"Of course." He replied. "There's too many people down there who know me and know what I did. On top of <em>that</em>, almost my entire family clan is here, and that's a whole slew of problems on its own." He perched himself on the edge of the stone balustrade. "I hope you don't mind this—I thought seeking <em>you</em> out would be a preferable alternative to wasting myself on champagne and making more terrible, regrettable decisions."</p>
    <p>Anna smiled and sat down beside him. "I appreciate that. To be honest, I don't think there's enough champagne down there to make me feel better."</p>
    <p>His eyebrow raised. "What about chocolate?"</p>
    <p>"Or chocolate." She sighed. "besides, if I eat too much, my dresses won't fit anymore. I haven't had a single bite all evening. I'm trying to be good."</p>
    <p>"Being good is over-rated. Trust me." He suddenly slid off the stone and adjusted his topcoat. "I'll be back."</p>
    <p>"Wait, what? Where are you—" too late. He was gone. She took a deep breath and gazed out to the grounds below. She had a good view of the southern yard. A small smile creeped its way onto her face as she saw in the distance the snow transition from impeccably smooth to completely rumpled and lumpy—the sight where that disastrous snowman-competition-turned-snowball-fight took place. Oh, what a fun afternoon that was. Some of the Westergaard men didn't speak to neither her nor Charlotte for the rest of the day, and it was <em>wonderful</em>. Viktor and Georg still resurfaced for dinner that evening with plenty of reserve energy left. Anna didn't know where they rationed it all, but they at least found the entire activity enjoyable. And Hans… she was rather anxious to whatever torture he would instill on her for making him play, too. He didn't do a damn thing. She got all worked up for nothing.</p>
    <p>A breeze swept through, and Anna immediately rubbed at her arms. Her gloves stopped just beyond her wrists, and she wished she decided to a wear longer, opera-length pair instead. It was rather cold in the night air.</p>
    <p>What was it with Westergaards and sitting outside, anyway?</p>
    <p>Hans returned minutes later with a small plate loaded with various truffles, fruits, and desserts. Her jaw dropped at the sight of the full plate, and she prayed he wasn't expecting <em>her</em> to eat all of that.</p>
    <p>"Relax. It's to share." He said as if reading her thoughts and gently set it down between them. Without a second thought, he also shrugged out of his topcoat and draped it around her shoulders.</p>
    <p>"Thank you." She hugged the coat closer to her before ultimately deciding to slide her arms through the sleeves instead. It was clearly too big for her, but the garment was warm. It smelled like him. That was more than enough for her.</p>
    <p>"You can deny it all you want, but I know chocolate <em>does</em> make you feel better. So have one piece or ten. I won't judge. And if you want to talk about it, I'm all ears."</p>
    <p>Anna shook her head and reached for a milk chocolate truffle. "I don't. I'm going to try and be strong and shrug it off. As the queen, I have to accept that not everyone will have a favorable opinion of me, and I can't let it ruin my night."</p>
    <p>He tilted his head curiously, "what about Anna?"</p>
    <p>She huffed and took a bite, savoring the rich taste on her tongue before swallowing. "Anna wanted to punch the Duke in the face." She smiled slightly when he burst into laughter, "but she also knows better. It's not as effective if the strike doesn't land the person into the fjords."</p>
    <p>"Quite right." He smirked. "I wouldn't wish that fate on anyone. You know? My nose still feels phantom pain sometimes when I think about it."</p>
    <p>"Are you feeling it now?"</p>
    <p>"A bit, yes." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm in the prime position where if I say the wrong thing, you'll deck me again and I'll fall off this ledge to my death."</p>
    <p>Her jaw dropped. "I would never!" He merely chuckled once more and plucked a berry off the plate.</p>
    <p>There was the sudden loud surge of laughter coming from the ballroom, and on instinct, she turned her attention back to the open doors. It had been quiet up to that point. She wondered if someone was giving a speech and made a joke. Oh well. She missed the punch line. She was missing everything that was going on inside. It didn't seem to bother her as much as she thought. Among the crowds, she had to put on her mask. She was <em>Queen Anna</em>… a person she still wasn't too sure about. Someone she still had to get used to becoming. In a way, she preferred it out here. Another moment of innocent privacy with Hans, where she could be just Anna. <em>Ordinary Anna</em>.</p>
    <p>Herself.</p>
    <p>She eventually turned back to him and felt her face flush. He was gazing at her with one corner of his mouth ever-so-slightly twitched upwards. His green orbs were so soft as they scanned all over her face. How long has he been looking at her like that? <em>Why</em> was he doing that?</p>
    <p>"…is there some chocolate on my face?"</p>
    <p>Hans shook his head slowly. "…this may be incredibly forward of me, but my god, you're divine. The crown really does suit you."</p>
    <p>Her cheeks couldn't possibly become any redder. It was rather bold, but it was just Hans and his feelings. "T-thank you."</p>
    <p>"…I'm not a complete fan of the somber dress, of course, but it can't be helped."</p>
    <p>"Oh?" She tilted her head. "What would you have preferred?"</p>
    <p>"I seemed to remember a delicate green gown with lace and frills… rosemaling pleats and dainty slippers… of course, I also recall an unfortunate sight of some of your underclothes, too—"</p>
    <p>"Hans!" She giggled, scooped up a chocolate-coated biscuit and tossed it into his chest. It got wedged between his bold red sash and his golden-yellow waistcoat. He burst out laughing at the act. It didn't faze him one bit.</p>
    <p>"There were these pretty colored ribbons in your hair…" he continued wistfully as he removed the treat from his clothes and took a bite out of it. "and that adorable pendant around your neck that drew the eye to all the right places…" he sighed and let his eyes fall to the sash crossing her dress. "I suppose now they've been traded in for other formal, regal pieces."</p>
    <p>"I still have the pendant. Somewhere…"</p>
    <p>"I miss it."</p>
    <p>"You miss a lot of things."</p>
    <p>His gaze grew a bit more somber as his eyes finally locked on hers. "I miss <em>everything</em> the way it used to be. But I'm not an innocent lovestruck bachelor, and you're not a fun, carefree princess anymore."</p>
    <p>"I'm still fun!" She protested, then immediately frowned. "O-okay, lately you wouldn't really know it, but I am. <em>We've </em>certainly had some fun moments together…right?"</p>
    <p>He nodded slowly and reached for a chocolate. "We have…."</p>
    <p>She watched him chew. "I feel a 'but' coming."</p>
    <p>"But those days are at an end." He said softly. "You're going home tomorrow."</p>
    <p>It suddenly hit her extremely hard. He was right, she <em>was</em> leaving in the morning—well, it would probably be the afternoon, now. Anna groaned softly, having completely forgotten all about it. She wasn't even packed, yet. <em>How</em> could she have let that happen? How could she let herself be completely absorbed in the alternate world that the Southern Isles granted her? This wasn't her reality. She had been referred to as 'Queen Anna' throughout her stay and for most of this evening, but it was a matter of formality—just like when she was called 'Princess'. It didn't faze her that this wasn't her land. Her home, her kingdom, was a great sea-span away, where setting sail meant getting completely weighed down with every little thing that caused her to flee in the first place. An empty castle. Rude courtiers. Demanding citizens, among other things. Only now there would be a greater weight added into that awful mixture.</p>
    <p>Hans.</p>
    <p>This wasn't how this visit was supposed to go. She wasn't supposed to spend time with him; get close to him; <em>have feelings</em> for him again. She found herself tangled in a new web that she wasn't sure how to free herself from. She also wasn't sure if she <em>wanted</em> to free herself, either.</p>
    <p>"Right…" She eventually acknowledged him, her shoulders instantly slumping. "Home."</p>
    <p>"Hey…" he said, reaching over to gently lift her chin up. "It may not be as bad as you think."</p>
    <p>"No… it could be <em>worse</em>."</p>
    <p>"You don't know that." He countered. "You've made it through this hurdle. Tomorrow is a new day, a <em>new year.</em> Surely there'll be something you'll have to look forward to?"</p>
    <p>Anna thought it over briefly and shrugged. "…my Coronation, I suppose."</p>
    <p>"It's something." He offered. "When will it be?"</p>
    <p>"Um… I'm not sure, actually. Either late spring or early summer. My courtiers are taking care of the arrangements, just like they did Elsa's."</p>
    <p>He offered a weak, hopeful smile. "I don't suppose I…could come?"</p>
    <p>
      <em>Oh, how I wish you could….</em>
    </p>
    <p>"It's probably best that you don't." Anna sighed, "after what happened at the <em>last one</em> and all…. All I know is this one is going to be smaller. Arendelle is apparently still reeling from the disaster of Elsa's. Magic certainly started all the problems, but unfortunately it couldn't fix them." She scratched at her cheek and turned to gaze off to the grounds below. "I guess no one has to worry about <em>me</em> setting off eternal winters or ruining the ecosystem. I'm <em>just me.</em> The ordinary, lackluster sister who doesn't have her own brand of magic to appeal to the masses."</p>
    <p>"That's not true." Hans hopped off the ledge and gently took her hands to guide her off and towards him as well. "You have the greatest magic of all."</p>
    <p>She didn't believe him. "Oh yeah? What's that? Because clumsiness and naiveté are not real magical traits."</p>
    <p>"You have this extraordinary power to see the good in others; to believe they have the ability to be their best selves. You have been this way your entire life, even in moments of true darkness." He stressed and drew her close to him. "Think of your sister. She shut you out for so many years, and yet you never stopped loving her, never stopped believing that one day you'd be a proper family again. And when everything suddenly went to hell, what did you do? You didn't hesitate to go after her. To bring her back. You didn't do that out of obligation, or out of guilt. You did it because you <em>loved</em> her. When she was out on that fjord on the verge of being killed, you threw <em>everything </em>away for her. It wasn't about stopping me. You were willing to die just to save <em>her</em>."</p>
    <p>"H-Hans, I—" She was immediately shushed by his index finger gently pressing over her lips.</p>
    <p>"And I haven't even broken the other subject yet." When she glanced up at him with a puzzled look, he raised his brows sympathetically, "You grew up believing in fairytales and whirlwind romances. When we met, you believed with all of your heart that I was the man of your dreams, and that I was capable of making any and all of your deepest desires come true. You sought refuge in me and saw something in me that I clearly didn't see in myself. You wantedme. We barely knew each other, and yet you trusted me with your home. Your people. Your kingdom. No one has ever put that much faith in me before. Look at us now! I committed a terrible wrong against you, against your sister; something I truly and deeply regret and will most likely take to my grave, yet you continuously treated me with kindness and respect. You sought me out first when you needed comfort. You chose to spend most of your days with me instead of anyone else in my family. You actually <em>want</em> me to heal, to be better. You <em>want</em> me to be <em>happy.</em>" When she averted her gaze away, he tilted her chin up gently. "Don't you see? It's <em>love</em>, Darling. Love is your special brand of magic."</p>
    <p>"Love isn't magic—"</p>
    <p>"It <em>is…</em>" Hans said. "<em>True love</em>, Anna. You have it. You share it with everyone, whether you realize it or not. Love for your parents. Your sister. Your friends. For…for a long-lost <em>fiancé</em> who clearly doesn't deserve it but willingly takes it. Clings to it. It's all he has left. Right now, it's all you have left, too. But that's what makes you strong. The love you bear, it is immense. It can hold up the whole world. That's what will make you a great queen. A <em>beloved queen. </em>That's what will keep you going from day to day. That is the light that will shine your path forward. And love shines brightly for you. It always has, and it always will."</p>
    <p>Tears were welling up in her eyes as she stared up at him. His words struck the biggest chord within her. He claimed that she saw something unknown in him, but in reality, he saw the greatest unknown in <em>her. </em>No one, not Elsa, not even Kristoff, ever regarded her in such a way. They accepted the love she gave them, but also took it for granted. It was sisterly love. It was romantic love. But that was as far as it ever went. Her feelings were never something that they thought should be celebrated. <em>Deserved</em> to be celebrated. But Hans called it magic. Was it really that strong that he would dare compare it to tangible magic like Elsa's? How could she ever compare to <em>Elsa</em>?</p>
    <p>"How… how could you possibly know that?"</p>
    <p>"Because you gave it to me." Hans replied and gingerly wiped away her stray tears with his thumb, "I had never experienced what love was until I met you… until I <em>lost</em> you. I mocked you then, believing the notions of true love to be something born only through fairytales with no place in the real world. But you were right to believe in it. To radiate in it. It's not about breaking curses. It's about people. Real people, like you and me. About giving it all to the ones you chose to care about and expecting nothing in return. It's about respect and sacrifice. It's about <em>happiness</em> and <em>grief</em>. You shared <em>all</em> of that with me then. I was just too pig-headed and selfish to realize it until it was too late. But now, I know it's not quite too late after all, because even though things are different between us, you still choose to love me in your own way."</p>
    <p>"I… I do." Anna said, barely above a whisper. Her hands trembled as they slowly slid up his chest to clutch the lapels of his waistcoat. "I wish I didn't… I shouldn't…but I do. I still do." She hesitated before gazing up at his face. "Gods, Hans…" she couldn't bring herself to say anything else. She was so overcome with emotions that she buried her face into his chest and let everything she was feeling just bubble to the surface. His arms came up to wrap around her and hold her close to him. "I don't know how I can do this."</p>
    <p>"Do what?"</p>
    <p>"…leave you."</p>
    <p>His hands rubbed up and down her back, careful not to wrinkle her sash. "I don't particularly want you to go, either… but it's for the best."</p>
    <p>"For the best? I'll be sacrificing what's probably the last love I have left just to live an empty life." She shook her head, nuzzling into his torso. "I can't… I can't do this alone."</p>
    <p>"Oh, Anna… you're not alone. You still have your sister's love. That stays with you, even if she physically isn't there. Mine will, too."</p>
    <p>"It's not the same…" she whined and swallowed hard, "nothing can ever be the same as warm hugs, someone to laugh with, cry with, someone to support…and comfort me. I can't handle another round of closed doors and empty rooms" She pulled back after a while and looked up at his face, "Will you… will you write to me?"</p>
    <p>"Of course."</p>
    <p>"It's not the same as your physical presence…" she sighed and rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand, "it'll have to do."</p>
    <p>Hans held her close for several long, silent moments, unsure at first what to say to make her feel better. Every so often, the quiet was broken with the sounds of her sniffles, muffled by his waistcoat. It was late. Earlier, he could have sworn he heard the clocktower bells chiming their last round before midnight. "… Do you remember when I proposed to you then?" He suddenly asked.</p>
    <p>Anna opened her eyes and blinked, confused. "Yes? Of course, I do."</p>
    <p>"Do you know the significance of what that meant?"</p>
    <p>
      <em>Um what? The same as any ol' marriage proposal?</em>
    </p>
    <p>"…marriage?"</p>
    <p>Hans released her and pulled back just enough so he could drop down to one knee before her. "A Southern Isles marriage proposal is a binding agreement between the two involved. It can only be broken either by death, should one of us die before a wedding, or by the written agreement between the couple and their families."</p>
    <p>Anna furrowed her brow slightly and stared at him, trying to piece things together. "What are you telling me this for? Are you… are you <em>proposing </em>to me? Again?"</p>
    <p>He shook his head. "No… I've already done that."</p>
    <p>Suddenly, it clicked in her mind. "Are you saying that we're <em>still engaged</em>?" He nodded slowly. "But… but I punched you into the fjord! E-Elsa sent you home a disgraced man!"</p>
    <p>"Yes, but that's hardly a legal substitute for dissolving the engagement. I knew that. My father, the King at the time, knew that. But we didn't do anything to address it when negotiating with Elsa because there were more important matters about my fall from grace to deal with. But now… both my father and your sister are gone, and here you are… in my arms… trying to pick up the pieces of your broken heart. <em>Our</em> broken hearts."</p>
    <p>Anna shook her head slightly, not entire sure if she wanted to believe where she thought he was going with this. "I don't understand…."</p>
    <p>Hans grasped her hands in his. "Tomorrow, when you go home… I want you to try living your life again. Grieve for as long as it takes. Heal in due course. When the time comes… find yourself a man that you deserve—a man who will love you with no hidden ulterior motives, a man that you can love in return. Marry him. Bear his children. <em>Be happy.</em> You deserve that. You <em>need</em> that. And I think, so do I…. Knowing you're living your best life is the only way I can truly forgive myself for my transgressions. The only way I can start to heal."</p>
    <p>"H-Hans—"</p>
    <p>"But… should you not find him, or if you truly feel you can't do that to me, or to yourself, just say the word and I'll be yours. Regardless of what happens, I will wait for you until the last breath leaves my body. There will never be another woman that I can—<em>will</em>—love as much as I do you. Should you truly choose me, I will honor the agreement we made three years ago and marry you without hesitation. It's not duties nor titles I'm after anymore; not praise nor fame. Just you. That's how it should have been from the start."</p>
    <p>"Oh Hans…" she trembled in place and could feel his thumbs rubbing against the backs of her hands to soothe her. "Can't I just say it now?"</p>
    <p>"No." He shook his head. "We're still two incredibly broken people. I don't want us to become another hasty decision like before. We both have a lot of grief to work through first. Take your time. Settle into your new role."</p>
    <p>"…You were my first love…" she said quietly. "I don't know if I can love another man as I loved you."</p>
    <p>Hans gazed upon her sadly. "That man is gone. I don't know if he can ever come back."</p>
    <p>Anna shook her head. "He's not… he's alive in here…" she wiggled a hand free and placed it upon his chest first over his heart, then moved it to rest against her own, "…and in here."</p>
    <p>"<em>Here we go, everybody!"</em> King Frederick's voice shouted loudly from the ballroom below. Hans and Anna both turned towards the open balcony doors. For the longest time, they had forgotten about the party going on inside.</p>
    <p>"It's almost midnight…" Anna gasped.</p>
    <p>"Promise me, Anna…" Hans begged as he slowly rose back to his feet. "Promise me you'll try."</p>
    <p>"<em>Ten!"</em></p>
    <p>"<em>Nine!"</em></p>
    <p>"<em>Eight!"</em></p>
    <p>"I… I promise." She said quietly. Her heart began to race when his hands came up to gently cup her face.</p>
    <p>"<em>Seven!"</em></p>
    <p>"<em>Six!"</em></p>
    <p>"Then I'll wait for you… as long as it takes." He whispered and leaned his head down towards her.</p>
    <p>"Wha—" she gasped. "What're you doing?"</p>
    <p>"<em>Five!"</em></p>
    <p>"<em>Four!"</em></p>
    <p>"<em>Three!"</em></p>
    <p>"That promise was for tomorrow. Tonight, you're still <em>mine</em>." He tilted her chin up and guided her face towards his.</p>
    <p>"<em>Two!"</em></p>
    <p>"<em>One!"</em></p>
    <p>The instant the clocktower rang midnight, Hans' lips met hers in a slow, gentle-moving kiss. It was sweet and soft, just as she always imagined her first kiss would be. This was the type of kiss she wanted Hans to give her years ago when she begged for one. A kiss of life more or less. And this one certainly gave her life. Her hands slid up his front to loop around his neck while one of his buried at the base of her formal updo, the other slid around her waist to press her up against him. His mouth moved against hers as the kiss deepened, sending tingles all the way down her spine. She had never been kissed like this before, and she was determined to make the most of it while it lasted. She moaned softly into it as Hans' movements became a bit more desperate, hungry even. He started to angle her back for one last intensifying play at her lips just before he reluctantly pulled away. Anna was left gasping for her breath as her eyes fluttered open to gaze up at him. The one corner of his mouth was slightly upwards. He looked both incredibly proud and miserable at the same time. That was certainly a kiss three years in the making, and it did not disappoint. Her fingers curled through his hair, rubbing the back of his neck as she tried calm herself down.</p>
    <p>"Happy New Year…<em>.</em>" He whispered breathlessly and slowly lowered his arms back to his sides.</p>
    <p>"H-Happy New Year…" she murmured back. Another stray tear fell down her cheek. This was it. Their time was up. Parting was going to be hard enough. That kiss certainly did not make it any easier.</p>
    <p>"…don't cry, Darling…" he sighed and wiped the teardrop away. "This isn't goodbye."</p>
    <p>"…How do you know?" She choked out. "How can you possibly know what will become of us?"</p>
    <p>He tried to force out a reassuring smile, but it just couldn't fully form. Instead, he looked to be on the verge of losing his composure just like she was. "I just do. Part of my heart resides in you. In time, in its own way, it'll call you back to me." He lowered himself back to one knee and took hold of her left hand. He slowly slipped off her black glove and closed his eyes tight as he pressed a long, lingering kiss into her skin. "Goodnight, my love. <em>My Queen</em>…" he murmured against her skin. "Until we meet again."</p>
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